


A Life in the Day of Reno 2: Day Harder

by Tyramir



Series: A Day in the Life of... [7]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Drama, Gen, Guardian-Ward Relationship, Humor, Mentor/Sidekick, One-Sided Attraction, Psychological Trauma, Revenge, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-13 00:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2130291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyramir/pseuds/Tyramir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel to A Life in the Day of Reno, and final Turk chapter of the Day in the Life of... series. Reno must once more attempt to be a Guardian Angel, but can he do it again when he's burdened with the blood of thousands on his hands?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Life in the Day of Reno 2: Day Harder

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to do it. I was going to leave 'A Life in the Day of Reno' alone. It was gonna end where it ended, and that was the original plan. The sheer amount of attention it received, though... Wow. I was just amazed at how positively it reviewed. So, I began to toy with ideas on how to do a second chapter. I read and reread A Life in the Day of Reno over and over again, and was just amazed at how well I'd done it. The question once more became 'Should I do this?' as opposed to 'How?' I almost feel like any sequel I put to it would almost shame the first part. I feel like I just can't do it justice.
> 
> Still, the thought of a bunch of people getting an author alert for this, and being like, "Holy crap, is it true? Has the prophesied day arrived?!" amuses me. I wonder how many leapt from their emails to this story right away upon receiving it. I wonder if any of those people from nine years ago care anymore as well, though.
> 
> You do not need to have read any of the other previous Day in the Life of... instalments EXCEPT FOR LIFE IN THE DAY OF RENO. This is imperative, or you will not get half of what is going on.
> 
> As usual, I still do not own Final Fantasy, but not from lack of trying. One day, Squenix will accept my offer of a magic bean. One day. I also wish to stress that I do not follow the extended Compilation of Final Fantasy VII canon, as when I originally started writing FF7 fanfics, the Compilation did not yet exist.

**A Life in the Day of Reno**

**Day II**

**Day Harder**

 

_12:47 am_

 

A normal man would've been in mortal peril fighting a guy twice his size that also had a mini-gun for an arm. A normal man would've been scared shitless if said walking artillery had support in the form of a guy with a sword larger than most humans and a head of hair that could be used as a weapon, to boot. But Reno knew he could take down Barret Wallace and Cloud Strife in a pinch. No, it was Tifa Lockhart Reno was worried about. Because Tifa had two things that neither Barret nor Cloud had.

Amazing tits.

So, it was as he was staring at those wonderful,  _wonderful_ breasts that Tifa rudely grabbed Reno's right arm and firmly wrenched it into a position that wasn't entirely natural. Of course, to Reno, it was almost worth the trade. Even so, he did scream like a little girl.

Stumbling back, the red-headed Turk was forced to dive behind the control system for the Sector Plate as a hail of bullets from Barret's gun-arm erupted around his feet. Cloud was still stunned from Reno's last barrage of electricity from his 'mag-rod, but as soon as the ex-Soldier recovered, Reno knew he was deep and truly fucked.

"Spray and pray!" Reno yelled as he poked his head over the console.

Barret immediately fired a barrage at the opening, and the Turk ducked down. The Avalanche member's aim was terrible, but if Reno even got clipped by that rate of fire, even with some magical protections up, he'd be shredded to pieces. But Reno needed Barret to keep firing. So long as he did, Tifa wouldn't dare come close. Wallace was many things. A good shot was not one of them. Smart didn't make the list either.

The cacophony of bullets stopped, and Reno risked a glance to see Tifa circling about on one side, and Cloud on the other. He quickly yelled, "Your mother was a slum whore, Wallace!"

More firing began, and ricochets flew in every which direction. Reno didn't bother to look, but he knew Tifa and Cloud were just as huddled undercover as he was at that moment.

"Dammit, Barret!" came Cloud's voice over the noise, and the so-called leader of Avalanche seemed to take the hint, as once more the stream of fire came to a halt.

An abrupt ring filled the void, and Reno instantly had his PHS out. "Yeah, Tseng?"

"Status?" the man asked.

"Little busy. Hey, you got any insults handy? I'm trying to piss off Wallace."

"Try 'You are an indescribably uncouth rapscallion and a preposterous, foul-smelling nauseating assault on the senses.'"

Reno poked his 'mag-rod over the edge of the console and fired a few times, randomly trying to hit anything at all. "That's it? You suck at this. Barret'll never understand that."

"Perhaps 'You are an incalculably vile misdemeanant and a decrepit, sock-sucking oppressive orgy of perversion?'"

Reno frowned. "I don't know if that's awesome material or horrible. Seriously. Where do you come up with this shit?"

"Are you going to use it or not?"

"Eh, sure, why not? Yo, Wallace! You're, uh...you suck socks, you pervert orgy slut! Socksucker!

"I what?!" came the response, followed by yet another barrage of gunfire.

"Great idea, boss. So, uh, what's going on?"

"Capturing a childhood friend," came the response. The man's voice was clearly anguished, but at the moment, Reno didn't give two shits. He was the one who was about to drop a fucking sector plate on an estimated six thousand people. And, of course, there was the little fact that Reno may or may not have family down there.

Still, he had a job to do. And if someone was gonna do it, it might as well be him.

Reno hung up the phone. He really didn't care to continue a conversation with Tseng at that moment. Lifting his 'mag-rod once more, Reno fired off a few rounds of electricity about, and was satisfied to hear a grunt, followed by a sudden stoppage of ammunition.

Standing, Reno began to scream wildly, determined to go out of the world as he came into it; crying and wailing and wanting to kill everything in sight.

And then he heard a ding. A magical little ding from a magical little button that sat on the console next to him.

A wide grin covered his face. "It's time!"

And with that, he ran to the edge of the tower and jumped off. But not before getting shot in the back.

He was dimly aware of landing inside a helicopter that he'd previously told to stay there. He was more aware of the sudden pain, and of the sheer amount of blood that was suddenly all over the place. And more, he was aware of the frightened looking woman in a pink dress that he, along with Rude and Tseng, had been stalking for the past few months.

"Hey, beautiful," Reno said through a bloody grin. "Can I get your number?"

And then he passed out from blood loss.

 

_2:12 am_

 

Everything was blurred. His vision was white and fuzzy, and noises were near incomprehensible. There was something nearby that smelled like bananas, but with how drug-addled Reno was, for all he knew, that could be ammonia. But there was one thing he was aware of. The pain. Even on whatever meds were being pumped into him, he could feel that his entire back was on fire. And... son of a bitch. As he shifted, he could feel... Oh, that just wasn't right.

In a world filled with magical orbs capable of healing wounds to near perfection, and Mako-enhanced potions that would seal cuts and ease burns, Reno absently wondered as he slowly came to a drug-addled consciousness, why, oh why, did they have to  _sew_ him up? Why the fuck did he have to settle for fucking  _stitches_?

But then, he knew why. Sure, Turks were paid more money than even some of the executives at Shinra. Sure, they had the freedom to spend said money on whatever they pleased. And sure, they all lived in a world that, if they wanted, they could buy a cage of Mako-mutated monkeys and have them fight each other to the death for the sake of amusement and gambling purposes. But there was one thing they didn't have. Health insurance.

"...surprised he's alive," was the first clue that Reno's sense of hearing was coming back to him. It sounded like Tseng, but with how blitzed his head felt, it could've been Elena speaking.

A grunt. That could only be Rude. Reno shifted his head, looking to the right side. There Elena stood, looking over him, probably at someone to his left. She seemed genuinely worried. Distraught, even. Reno made a mental note to seduce the hell out of her once he was out of his hospital bed.

"He's moving." The rough, gravelly voice, and the clear statement of the obvious could only be Rude. Reno knew this because unlike his peers, he was like a detective, able to recognize and deduce voices he'd known for years. Even if he was on a copious amount of drugs.

Copious. Copious.  _Copious._ That was a word, right? He wasn't sure right now. It sounded funny to him.

"Reno!" Elena gushed. "I'm so glad you're all right!"

"Liar," he said. "You...so wanted...my job...Y'can't have it...conniving bitch."

For a moment, she seemed glad that he'd managed to speak to her. And then the words sunk in. And her face grew quickly angry. One of her fists came up. Reno smirked. Before she could do anything, Rude was there, holding her back and dragging her from the room.

"You really are an idiot."

Reno shifted his head, wincing as he did so, and managed to look over to where Tseng was standing. "Hi, boss. Why... the fuck is my back...stitched up?"

"You were too far gone for a full Materia healing," Tseng explained. "The shock to your system may have killed you. The doctors had to chance sewing your back together, while they repaired the internal damage with magic. Wallace really made a mess out of you."

"Yeah, I'll... cut that fucker next time I see him."

"Reports are in," the Wutaian said. "Avalanche is, at the very least, crippled. Sketchy reports state that Strife, Wallace and Lockhart escaped, swinging from a wire to safety, of all things, but those have yet to be confirmed. I doubt anything could've survived the complete obliteration rained down on Sector Seven."

Reno winced, then said, "That's nice... Sleepy time now. And get me some godamn Materia healing."

He didn't really have a choice in the matter. His meds were obviously putting him back unconscious. He longed for the complete oblivion waiting for him. Needed it, even.

But Tseng's final words as he slipped from consciousness did nothing but bring the dreams. "We don't think your brother made it out."

 

_7:13 am_

 

The dreams were awful. They were nightmares that would've broken the most grounded of men, the most courageous of warriors. But oddly enough, when Reno awoke in the morning, he didn't remember a single detail. He just held on to a gut-wrenching feeling of wrongness. He'd done something so terrible, so unforgivable, that it would haunt him forever.

Shifting experimentally in his bed, Reno could feel that the stitching had been already removed, his wounds healed with Materia and Shinra pseudoscience. Reaching under his pillow, Reno withdrew his 'mag-rod. Whenever a Turk was hospitalized, a weapon was always left nearby at all times so they could still defend themselves. Looking about, Reno saw Rude dozing in a chair nearby. The bald Turk's sunglasses were askew, his suit rumpled, and he was sporting a five o'clock shadow that covered nearly his entire head. But that wasn't what kept Reno's attention. Standing proudly on the end table next to the bald Turk was a glass bottle with an improvised label that included a picture of a lewdly dressed woman drinking from a jug. A label above it said 'WHORESKY', and Reno grinned as he played the joke in his mind. Called 'Whoresky' because it tasted like the gutter whore of whiskeys. And beside that beautiful bottle of moonshine sat a plate of still steaming pancakes, all covered in butter and syrup.

There were four things Reno loved most in the world. Pancakes and alcohol were two of them. Sex was definitely numbered among them. But none of those were his favourite. With the practiced ease of the warrior that he was, Reno aimed and fired his 'mag-rod, sending roughly 25,000 volts of electricity into poor, unsuspecting, sleeping Rude. Reno would have admired the thrashing and grunts of pain of his best friend if he weren't too busy laughing. In all the world, only one thing was better than sex, pancakes and hooch.

Random, inexplicable violence.

He was still laughing himself silly when Rude, angry, but definitely not recovered nor composed, hauled Reno out of his bed by the collar of his hospital gown and hurled him bodily across the room.

Even as Reno crashed face first into the wall, his nose making a wet crunch as it did, he couldn't stop laughing. Through the pain and the sudden tears flowing from his eyes and the blood pouring from his nostrils, he managed to say, "Worth it."

 

_7:24 am_

 

Shortly after, Rude picked Reno up again, slung the scrawny man over his shoulder, and carried him to the bathroom to get cleaned up. Despite Reno's requests, there were neither nurses nor sponges provided to help in the endeavour. Still, even as Reno removed the gown and put his suit back on, taking extra effort to make sure the collar of his shirt was bent the wrong way, and even misaligning his buttons, he felt a sudden wave of guilt. He'd done bad things in his career before. Things most people would kill themselves over, or spend the rest of their lives in the bottle. It wasn't the amount of people that had probably died from the Sector Plate dropping although the unofficial estimate at that time put the count to at least four thousand. Apparently, Cloud and Aeris had managed to warn a fair number of people and get them out from the danger zone. But so many people had still died.

Reno gave his face another splash of water from the sink as he looked himself in the mirror. Four thousand.

"That's gotta be a record or somethin'," he muttered to himself. "Kill of the Month. That's what that was. Death by squishing. Someone get me my trophy."

Maybe he should pick up his 'mag-rod, press it to his temple, and turn the wattage up to 'fried chocobo.'

Rude grunted, but didn't say anything. He never really did. That was the great thing about good old Rude. He didn't judge, he didn't complain, and he didn't look at you like you were some crazy fucker that needed to be put down. And he could almost hold his own in a drinking contest.

The thought of drinking brightened Reno up a little bit. That bottle of Whoresky was still by the infirmary bed. He and Rude could probably top that off and then force some of the elderly to wheelchair joust each other to the death. Well, to the broken hip, at the least. No. He'd done that last time he'd been in the hospital.

"Hey, want to go down to the inventory room and switch the labels on the oxygen and the anesthetic gas tanks?"

Rude grunted. It sounded like the noncommittal variety he was so good at.

"I hear they have a giant vat of pudding in the cafeteria. I wish to partake of a vat of pudding. No spoon necessary. I'll just shovel it right into my gob with my hands. And then, when I am fat and sticky and covered in the brown remains of my sugary breakfast, I'm going to find an orderly, put on my saddest, most despairing expression, and tell him I had an 'accident.'"

No one else would've caught it, but Reno and Rude had been partners for a long time, and Reno knew how to push the man's buttons, so he caught the slight tightening of Rude's lips, and the bare lifting of his eyebrows.

"A smile!" Reno proclaimed. "Rude has smiled! Alert the media! Six more weeks of summer!"

The barely expressed expression was quickly replaced by Rude's trademark scowl, but Reno hopped and pointed.

"I made you smile! I made you smile!"

"You're crying," Rude said.

"What?" Reno said. "No, I'm not."

But he felt it. Like some kind of beast, clawing at the inside of his face, trying to escape. He turned to the bathroom mirror and looked himself over, and noticed that tears were, in fact, falling. And not just a couple. Despite his weird, lop-sided smile, his eyes were red and anguished, and wet lines were trailing down his cheeks, flowing freely.

When did that happen?

Reno didn't cry. Turks didn't cry. And Reno was a Turk. So, he doubly didn't cry.

"You just smashed my nose," Reno said accusingly. "I'm not actually  _crying_. My eyes are just watery."

Rude grunted, which Reno translated into, 'I will accept your bold lie in exchange for you never mentioning me smiling and impinging upon my stoic manliness ever again.'

He started to wipe the tears away, but as he did, Tseng stepped into the room.

"Not what it looks like!" Reno said. "Rude smashed my nose!"

"More pressing matters," Tseng said. "Do you have your PHS?"

Reno snorted. Did he have his PHS? Was this some kind of test? Of course he had it. Tseng always said he'd kill the first Turk who failed to have their phone on them at all times. Reno had gotten away with it once, but only due to special circumstances.

Pulling the phone out of his pocket, he showed it to Tseng. "Right here. Do you think I'm new or something? I got shot, not concussed."

Tseng snatched it from Reno's hand, dropped it to the floor, and then slammed his foot down on it.

"The fuck?" Reno said, even as Rude made a startled choke.

"It'll be tracked. Reports just came in from my informants in the Honey Bee Inn. President Shinra was re-enacting his 'saviour of the Planet' speech again."

"He's off his meds?" Reno asked wryly.

"Yes," Tseng said. "What's more, Heidegger asked me to pull your file, including all performance reviews on your personal strategies, proficiencies, and battlefield tactics."

"Since when does Heidegger know me from a wart on his ass?"

"I don't think he wanted the information for himself. He wasn't terribly discrete, but then, he never is. He also asked me for a list of known assassins for hire not currently under Shinra's employ."

"Outside the company? Why would he…. Aw, fuck. Really?"

"Yes. The President intends to have you killed, as quietly as possible. I thought he'd overlook your contribution in the Raina case, I was certain I'd covered it up completely, and given that she's dead…"

 _So you think_ , Reno thought, but for once, managed to not say the first thing on his mind. Instead, he just shook his head, and yelled, "Fuck!"

"I will fix this," Tseng said. "I already have you listed as still terminally wounded. I had to bribe a few doctors. As far as this hospital is concerned, you're still in intensive care, in an undisclosed room. I'm going to work some bureaucratic magic so the records leave anyone who attempts to locate you from that angle get lost in the paperwork. For now, we need you to get out of here."

"I'm a Turk," Reno said, his voice filled with shock. "If the President wants to kill me, I can't be a Turk anymore, can I?"

"Trust me, Reno," Tseng said. "I will  _fix_ this."

 

_7:58 am_

 

Sneaking past every single camera in the hospital normally would've been tricky, especially recovering from major injuries, but apparently Tseng had all of them in the entire block disabled. How he managed that, Reno didn't know, but that was why Tseng was in charge. Sure, Reno was a better shot, and Rude was a better hand-to-hand fight, and Elena was better with explosives, but Tseng had connections and bureaucracy, and no matter what anything thought, those two things were deadlier than any other weapon in all of Midgar.

Even so, Reno made sure to select a car with darkly tinted windows to steal from the hospital parking lot. He made sure to pick a really nice one, something that screamed luxury, because if you were going to be on the run from your own employer, you might as well do so in style, right?

Tseng's instructions to Reno had been clear. Get out of the hospital. Find transportation. Secure a line of communication not linked to his personal PHS. Get to a Turk safe house. Hide until Tseng could make the problem disappear. Either by making President Shinra take his medication and regain some semblance of sanity, or use blackmail and leverage to buy safety. Worst case scenario, Reno was to wait a week, and if no contact came indicating that he was no longer in danger, he was to get to Wutai by any means necessary and retire as quietly as possible. That last scenario depressed him. You weren't allowed to shoot people in the face just because they annoyed you in Wutai.

He still felt weak from the recent injuries and healing. There was no pain, but his body responded lethargically. He needed more sleep. Badly. Well, he had plenty of time to get some sleep in while hiding. He just needed to get to the safe house first.

Reno quickly found a car that matched what he needed, jimmied the lock with little effort, and then hotwired the ignition. The car purred to life even as he noticed the neat little manila folders resting on the passenger seat.

He opened them, quickly leafed through, and began to laugh hysterically.

They were mission briefs. To assassinate Reno.

Reno had just stolen a car belonging to one of the assassins.

As he pulled out of the hospital's parking garage, he began to laugh hysterically. He kept laughing even at the first red light, until he stopped to think about his situation. He was being chased by professional assassins for protecting the life of a little girl. Sure, one of his better moments. But he had just dropped a Sector Plate on some four thousand people. Maybe he deserved it. Why bother running? Maybe he should just sit here, in this stolen car, and wait for them to come. Reno had never cared about justice before, but… four thousand people. One of which may or may not have been family.

He couldn't think about that. Not too hard, anyway. He had to distract himself, so he picked up the manila folder again, and began to leaf through a few more pages of the dossier that had been left there. He barely made it five pages before he stopped, his blood running cold.

He wasn't the only target.

The next page detailed out the appearance, location, and known associates of Raina Shinra.

Reno didn't wait for the traffic light to turn green. He gave the car as much gas as it would take, and headed for Raina Shinra's last known whereabouts. Kalm.

 

_10:23 am_

 

Kalm was quaint.

Reno fucking hated quaint.

As the Turk wandered the streets of the small town, a map with a marked address in one hand, he contemplated shooting the smiling townsfolk. He kept having to stop and ask for directions, but everyone he spoke to just wanted to debate the merits of Mako energy versus the health of the Planet. When the fuck did village folk stop caring about the weather and being helpful to strangers? Wasn't that what they were supposed to do? He'd read that somewhere, he was sure. Elena was supposed to be from this kind of backwoods. He'd have to ask her some time.

Assuming he didn't commit genocide on her people first.

He scowled at the address in anger. How the fuck could he not find it? There were roughly six streets in all of Kalm, so where the hell was this one listed?

"Psst!"

Reno looked up from the dossier warily. A man stood in a dark tunnel, gesturing to someone on the other end. He couldn't see who it was. The man was older, balding, and wearing overalls. Reno's eyes narrowed. He hated people who wore overalls.

The man gestured more sharply, and then said, "I need a Desert Rose! If you give me your Desert Rose, I'll let you ride my chocobo!"

Reno nearly made a dirty joke at that, but then a cloud shifted, and more sunlight came down, letting him see more of the tunnel. She saw him before he saw her, her eyes widening, a look of consternation on her face giving way to a smile. Raina.

Her hair was still dyed brown from the last time they'd been on the run together, only it was done better and more uniform, the sloppy job fixed. It'd been cut short into a pixie look as well. She wore a pair of goggle-like sunglasses up on her head, and he was startled to realize that they were  _his_  sunglasses, a pair that he'd given her. She was wearing a sundress, much like she had been the first time he'd seen her, but instead of red, this one was blue. Turk blue. Now, that was…

Wait. Did Overalls say if she gave him her Desert Rose he'd give her a ride on his chocobo?

"Pedophile!" Reno screamed, drawing his 'mag-rod.

Overalls looked at Reno, confusion all over his face until Reno's 'mag-rod took him across the jaw, spraying teeth like candy from a piñata. The old man fell hard, making that wailing noise that people usually made that Reno liked to hear so much. He flicked a switch with his thumb, and the weapon began to blaze with electricity. He raised his arm for a follow-up strike, but Raina dove between them, arms held defensively.

"Don't kill and eat him!" Raina shrieked.

Reno stopped, checked his weapon, and then laughed.

"Eat him?" he asked incredulously.

"You set a precedent with that chocobo in the sewers," she said.

"Oh, right. Huh. And you know, no chocobos have fucked with me since. That can't be a coincidence."

"It's only been two weeks," Raina said. "Might need to give it time before you decide that it works."

Overalls moaned in pain, then said, "I just want … to play an Earth Harp."

Reno's 'mag-rod blazed anew with electricity as he darted around Raina, and gave him a few sharp pokes with it. "I don't know what that means, but you're not playing anyone's harp, you fucking pervert!"

"Reno!" Raina shouted.

He stopped and looked at her. She had her arms crossed, a frown on her face. "Put your weapon away and apologize!"

"Apologize?" he asked incredulously. "But he just… he said he wanted to give you a ride on his chocobo!"

Her eyes narrowed. She stamped her foot. He sighed, put his weapon away, and then said to the old man, "I'm sorry I beat you up for being such a blatant pedophile. I promise not to do it again unless I catch you knuckle deep in some kid's butt."

"Reno," she said warningly.

"That's the best he's getting out of me," he said. "Come on. We have assassins looking for us both, and I haven't taken you to a bar yet, so let's go hide you in there while I make a phone call. Assuming I can find a phone."

Her eyes widened only slightly, but she seemed to take it in stride, as if she'd been expecting it, before shouting, "Reno!"

"What?"

"If we're really in that much trouble," she said, "we're going to need money, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I didn't have time to grab some spare gil before running from Midgar."

Raina bent over Overalls, as if she were checking over his wounds, and then slipped a hand into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Here, we'll probably need this."

"Help… me…." the old man said.

She ignored him, and pulled out a PHS from his other pocket. "And this," she said.

Reno made a mock sniffle and pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. "They grow up so fast."

 

_11:27 am_

 

Reno was reading the dossier he'd found in the stolen car in more depth as he sat at the bar, nursing a drink of what he assumed was supposed to be beer, but tasted more like mulled assholes with a faint pickle flavour for accent. Raina had tried it, scrunched up her nose in disgust, and then had demanded something better. So he'd ordered her a shot of whiskey. That had apparently tasted even worse, and now she was content with not bothering him for more alcohol.

The bar was empty except for him, Raina, and the bartender. Apparently, according to the man behind the counter, people in Kalm didn't usually drink during the 'morning hours,' because people were busy 'tending the fields,' which was pretty much even more of an admission that Kalm was a hillbilly town filled with hill folk than actually saying, 'We're a hillbilly town filled with hill folk.'

There was no new information. Nothing worthwhile, anyway. Just a list of Reno's assorted aliases, resources, combat specialties, and known associates. Raina's information was fairly inaccurate, it turned out. Rufus had done a good job in hiding her, for the most part. The street address listed for her in Kalm was wrong on purpose. It's what the census data and tax information indicated she owned for her alias, but the street itself didn't exist, which was kind of clever, Reno was forced to admit. Anyone who looked for her by her registered address would just simply never find her.

He pulled out the PHS Raina had stolen from Overalls, and dialed Tseng's number.

"Who is this?" came the Wutaian's clipped answer before the first ring had even finished.

"It's your stepson, the one you like to beat," he answered, not wanting to say his name over an unknown line.

"Good. I trust you made it to the summer house just fine?"

'Summer house' was code for the safe house. Tseng was just as worried about being monitored, apparently, which made Reno even more worried.

"Took a detour, actually. Picked up a brand new car, but found out it came with some baggage. It reminded me of a little girl we once knew, liked to wear red dresses and carry dolls. Had all kinds of family issues, but it turned out she had a big brother who was looking out for her. So, I decided to check up on her."

Tseng made an audible intake of breath, and took a moment to process what he'd just heard before responding, "Family matters always complicate things. Speaking of, I've managed to pin down those family members of yours who are looking for your summer house. All five were all in my rolodex."

Which meant that all the assassins hired to kill Reno were either past associates of Shinra, or known enemies that were deemed a credible threat.

"Oh yeah?"

"It appears you have a few different branches of your family coming down. A couple of them won't be making it, though. One man, in particular, apparently was diagnosed with some heavy metal poisoning when he went to the hospital earlier. Luckily, a mutual bald acquaintance was there to help him."

So, Rude had killed one, presumably shooting him to death. Dammit. Reno hadn't even met any of the assassins yet and Rude was already ahead on the kill score.

"Their meeting was even on the news, it was so noteworthy."

Reno quickly gestured for the bartender to change the channel on the dinky television the bar had. The man flipped through until he got to the news, and Reno gave him a thumbs up to indicate he leave it there.

"A second," Tseng continued, "came all the way from Wutai to meet you. She was promised some rare Materia if she met up with you, but apparently, someone gave her some bad directions and now she thinks she's supposed to meet you in some woods just outside Junon."

Read: Tseng had managed to pass along some faulty intel about Reno's location, and assassin number two was now likely twiddling her thumbs in some forest somewhere looking for someone who wasn't there. That technically tied Tseng with Rude for score, even if his wasn't dead.

Reno was having difficulty focusing on what Tseng was saying and what the television was reporting. Naturally, the news had been suppressed where the Sector Plate was concerned, citing an 'accident', but making it sound hardly newsworthy. Instead, the news showed a report of a man who'd apparently been innocently going to the hospital when a sewer lid had apparently fallen from a window and killed him. No one knew how or why a sewer lid of all things had managed to get into the hospital, or why it had fallen, but a pizza slice-shaped piece had been cut out of it with a blow torch beforehand, and the words 'KILL OF THE MONTH' had been painted onto it before it had claimed the life of the as yet to be identified victim.

 _Son of a bitch.._  Reno thought.

So, Rude hadn't shot the man. He'd decided to go full on cartoon-kill him, and was trying to claim the coveted 'Kill of the Month' award that the Turks had been awarding since the organization's inception. Every month, Tseng looked over everyone's records, evidence and witness reports, and awarded a Kill of the Month. It was just a small pay bonus, and your picture was taken and mounted on a wall, with a small inscription saying what you'd done to earn it. Initially, it had started as an award for taking out high profile targets, evidenced by classics such as Vincent Valentine's assassination of five different heads of state – all done on the same night, and in different parts of the world - but as the years rolled by, it had become more about killing people or things in ludicrous ways than it was about who you killed. So, whenever any particular month began to come to a close, and no one had done anything particularly noteworthy, Reno and Rude would inevitably begin to execute more and more daring maneuvers in their attempts to one-up each other.

This kill looked particularly good. The fact that the sewer lid kind of looked like Midgar's plate – minus the sector plate that Reno had just dropped cut out – was going to win it for Rude for sure.

Tseng kept reporting, "Next, we have an old martial artist, known to train scores of people around the world in his techniques and apparently likes to frequent burning towns," – Reno paused to think, trying to remember who that sounded like, and then remembered a report from the Sephiroth incident about a man named Zangan – "a man with a gun-arm who apparently has a thing about the company I work for—"

"Oh yeah? Big bear of a man, likes to swing on wires?" Reno said, thinking of Barret Wallace.

"No. Some relation, though. Normally seen in the Gold Saucer area, but apparently has ways of getting in and out of the desert."

Dyne, then. Shinra had been keeping track of that man for a while, since he apparently could get in and out of the supposedly inescapable Desert Prison whenever he felt like, and obviously had a dislike for Shinra employees. Reno kind of liked this guessing game. He was good at it.

"And lastly, we have your ex-girlfriend," Tseng said.

"My who?" Reno said, amused.

"Your ex-girlfriend."

"No, I caught that. But the words don't compute. I don't do girlfriends, exes or otherwise."

"Blonde? Certain, ah, shall we say, augmentations in the chest area?"

"Going to have to get a bit more specific."

"Didn't like it when you dumped her in a room full of people?"

"Bit more specific than that."

"Tried to kill you?"

"Liiiiiitle bit more specific," Reno said. "I'm kind of an asshole, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Had, uh, certain neck problems? Which you gave her?"

Reno snorted. "Now I don't even know what you mean. Is this supposed to be a kinky thing? Are you saying I did kinky things to her, Tseng? You know, if you just wanted to know about my techniques, all you had to do was ask."

Tseng sighed. He seemed to do that a lot. "Listen. There was a girl. One who thought she was in a relationship with you, and that you terminated  _permanently_. Or so you thought. It turns out; you both had a major misunderstanding, because after you were done with her, so to speak, she met someone else."

"Oh yeah? Who's that?"

"Hojo."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Just then, the front door to the bar was torn off its hinges, and something  _slithered_  into the room. It was large, standing at over nine feet tall, and it reared up as it came in. Its left arm was longer than its right, and was shaped like a large club. The right was tipped in claws, and glowed from several Materia orbs embedded into it. The face was human, but was on a lopsided head, which seemed permanently tilted to one side. She might have been pretty, once, but now she was covered in scales and various disgusting and slimy protrusions, had no legs so much as a long tail, kind of like a snake, and Reno absently wondered if she still had a vagina before diving behind the bar.

"Reno!" cried the monster, "I've come for you again!"

Reno glanced around, but Raina was nowhere in sight, just the bartender who was also huddled down under the relative cover of the counter. Great. Reno hadn't been paying attention to her for a few minutes. She must've disappeared when he'd called Tseng, but where had she gone?

"What's happening?" Tseng's voice came from over the phone.

"Some Mako-mutated monster just came in the door. Knows my name, apparently. No idea who it is."

The monster seemed to hear that. And if anything, grew furious at it. She picked up a nearby chair and hurled it at the bar. It shattered with a great snapping of wood, pieces flying every which way, but none coming anywhere near him.

"Our love, Reno," the monster said. "Our love! It is meant to be forever! I've come back from death itself for you!"

"You have just invented a creepy new level of stalking that I've never even heard of!" Reno shouted. "Go away, molt or something, and come back when you have less gross bits! And maybe a vagina! Then we'll talk!"

"You don't want to talk. You never want to  _talk_ , except to  _lie_. All you ever did was lie to me!"

"How the hell did she find me?" he muttered.

The bartender raised his hands defensively, like he was guilty of something. Reno sighed, pointed his gun at the man, and shot him. It was so hard to find a trustworthy barman. Weren't they supposed to be the custodians of secrets and booze?

"Okay, Tseng," Reno said into the phone. "I really have no fucking clue who this psycho is. Can we just declare a pass, assume whoever's listening in on our conversation knows who you're talking to by now, and just tell me?"

"It's Candi, you idiot."

Reno thought for a minute, frowned, thought again, and said, "Still drawing a blank."

"Are you going to keep conversing with me, or are you going to fight like your life means something?"

"What? I can't do both?"

Drawing his 'mag-rod and resting the PHS between his head and his shoulder, Reno grabbed a bottle of alcohol and threw it over the bar at the so-called Candi-monster. Green light sparked, followed by a roar of flame, and the projectile detonated with a bright flash. Reno leapt over the counter next as the Mako mutated being was blinded by her own attack, struck her in the fact with his 'mag-rod, ducked under a lumbering club from her arm, and kept running, not stopping.

He drew his pistol with his other hand, leapt for the doorway, turned, and as she swiveled her body to face him, put three bullets into her torso. She staggered, but didn't seem to notice otherwise. Reno hit the ground, rolled, and was back up on his feet immediately. He didn't have the firepower to take her down. Which meant he had to run. And find Raina.

Once again, she saw him first, rushing to his side. On her shoulders was a small black and white cat toy, brandishing a megaphone. Cait Sith. Huh. Apparently, she'd kept it.

She let out a small scream as the monster emerged from the bar. The cat toy looked at it, rose to his full height, and bellowed into the megaphone, "Sic her, Mog!"

A large pink mass of bulk and fluff rounded the other end of the bar, raised one meaty fist, and belted the Mako monster across the back of the head. She started to rise, but the Mog grabbed her by the throat, punched her twice more, then lifted and threw her over a nearby house. She let out a frustrated wail as she flew and crashed out of sight.

"Was that Candi?" Cait Sith asked abruptly.

"Hell if I know, I don't keep track of 'em," Reno said.

"Seriously?" the cat toy exclaimed. "She only kidnapped you and tried to kill you."

"Can you be a little more specific?"

"I was there! I saved you! So was Raina! That only happened one time!"

"Oh yeah," Reno said, the memory dawning on him. "That does sound kind of familiar. Her name was Candi? Weird. I thought it was Susan for some reason."

Raina asked, "Can we go before she comes back?"

Reno's instinct blared a warning, and he threw himself at Raina even as gunfire erupted. They both hit the ground, and Raina took more of the brunt of the impact than he'd intended. She made an exhalation of pain, but didn't scream. He tried to locate the source of the gunfire by sound, but it echoed off the closely packed buildings. A second later, the point was moot as gunfire riddled Mog, little puffs of stuffing coming out of the wounds. Mog didn't seem to notice, or care. Reno calculated the angle the bullets hit the giant doll from, figuring that the person shooting was at ground level. There was a fountain basin between them and the shooter. They were safe for a second, but probably not for much longer.

"What's happening?" Tseng's voice came from the PHS, which had apparently fallen during the dive.

"Sorry, boss," Reno shouted as he picked it up and slipped it into his pocket, "Getting shot at! It's probably Dyne!"

More gunfire erupted, and a voice yelled, "You stole my car!"

"You're trying to kill me!" Reno shouted back.

"It has the only picture I have left of my daughter!"

Reno rolled his eyes, gathered Raina in his arms, and said, "I'm going to make a break for it. Now, I'm going to have to carry you, because one target will be harder to hit than two, okay?"

She nodded, a little bit of fear touching her eyes.

"Now, when I carry you, it's going to be best if we have some suppressing fire. Cait, can you-?"

"No can do, buckaroo," the cat said. "Mog's watching for that snake Candi thing. As soon as it shows its head again, Mog's gonna smash it. Can't help you with the guy with the gun."

Reno winced. "Okay, Raina, can you handle a gun?"

He hadn't even finished the sentence when she pulled a small pistol – it looked like a .22 with a modified grip, small enough for her to handle – from  _somewhere_ underneath that sun dress she was wearing. She clicked the safety off, and nodded with confidence despite her obvious fear.

"Cool," he said.

"Kill you, Reno!" came a feminine – yet obviously monstery – yell. "Our love will last forever in the Lifestream!"

"Am I the  _only_  person here who thinks this Brandi chick sets back the cause of women with every word she utters?" Reno asked.

"Since when do you care?" Cait asked.

"Good point," Reno said. "Hey, Cait."

"Yeah?"

Reno snatched the cat doll by the collar of his silly little cape. "I need a distraction."

"No!" the doll yelled. "No, don't you dare!"

And then Reno threw the little animatronic feline as hard as he could at the direction of the gunfire. He could hear Cait yell, "Yar!" as he sailed through the air. There was more gunfire, and then a man bellowed.

Reno didn't check to see if Cait had actually done any damage. He just got to his feet and ran, carrying Raina. More bullets sang out, but they didn't sound like they were even close, and Raina squeezed off a few rounds from her tiny pistol. Reno zigzagged, hoping it would disrupt Dyne's aim even more before rounding the corner of a house and putting it between him and the lead barrage of death.

He ran full out for the next few blocks, until he got to the car. Putting Raina down, he scanned his immediate vicinity, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary beyond the odd huddled villager, shying away from the sound of gunfire.

"What?" Raina asked, reading his expression.

"Eh, nothing. I honestly expected some old dude with martial arts skills to jump out at us. Weird."

"Why's it weird?"

"Well, just… you expect him to show up, you know? It got all built up, and now, he's not here. He must show up later."

Raina raised an eyebrow. "You're very broken."

"Hey, I'm not the ten year old girl with a gun hidden in her dress."

 

_3:29 pm_

 

Reno stopped the car at a farm after he thought they'd driven far enough. That, and the car was running near empty. Once they stopped and parked, Reno reached into his pocket and took out the wallet Raina had stolen from Overalls.

"Alright, kid, I need you to go in and pick us up some food, and see if they have any fuel they can give us. This car's not getting us any further if they don't."

She looked at him, a frown furrowed on her features, not moving to take the wallet. She'd been like that the entire car ride away from Kalm. He hadn't cared at first, but now it was beginning to bug him.

He waved the wallet in front of her face, making airplane noises, and she rolled her eyes. Crossing her arms, she pointedly looked away.

"Okay, what did I do wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said.

He peered at her. She didn't elaborate on what 'nothing' was. So, he got closer. And closer. Peering at her all the while, making his best damn peer-face, he moved as close as he could until their heads were touching.

"What are you doing?" she said, trying to turn her head to face him again, but unable to with his own pressed against hers.

"I'm being annoyingly childish while attempting to get answers by reading your mind. Is it working?"

"No," she said, but her tone was less adamant, less certain.

"You do know I'm going to upgrade to tickling in a second if you don't tell me."

If anything, she withdrew more at that. "I'm not a child."

Reno snorted. Raina squirmed away at the sensation, since he was still pressed up against her.

"Never said you were. But you are. And that's okay. You grew up harder in one day than most kids do in ten years. Now you're going to have to grow up a little bit more today. Now, I'm not a paragon of maturity—"

It was Raina's turn to snort in derision.

"—but I do know some stuff. Like, to you, I'm this shining knight, this guy who rescued you from your evil father. You're the princess from the storybook, and I'm supposed to whisk you away. Except, I didn't, did I? I saved you, but then Rufus took you away, and hid you. And now I'm back, and I'm making jokes about how many girlfriends I've had, and now you don't feel special."

This time, she did manage to turn, and as she did, she pushed him. "Rufus said you were stupid, but I didn't know how stupid 'til now."

He made an unintelligible noise that only furthered her argument in response.

"You didn't kill my dad!" she said fiercely. "All he did, all he tried to do to me, and he's still alive. And now he's trying to kill me  _and_  you now!"

"But…" he said confused, "… he's my boss."

She slapped him on the forehead. There was no sting to it, it was gentle, even from a ten-year-old girl, but it was still obviously meant as a rebuke.

"What do you care about more?" she asked quietly, sadly, "Your job, or my life?"

And just like that, for the first time in his existence, Reno felt afraid and vulnerable and uncertain. He didn't know how to answer, but his mouth opened anyway.

Whatever stupid thing he'd been about to say was cut off as the PHS rang. Pulling it from his pocket, he answered tersely, his voice a little hoarse, "Yeah, boss?"

"I'm tracking the phone you have," Tseng said. "Which means if I can, Shinra can, too. Why haven't you dropped it yet?"

He almost answered, to explain to Tseng that it was meant to be a trap, but who knew who was listening in. Instead, he said, "What's going on your end? Get this situation any closer to resolved yet?"

Raina, a scowl still on her face, took the wallet from Reno's hand and left the car, presumably to get food and fuel.

"The President has organized another board meeting for tonight. Presumably, it's about the Neo Midgar project. From what I've managed to see of his itinerary, and the money trail the company's making, I don't think he intends on repairing Sector 7."

"Asshole," Reno muttered.

He pulled out a pack of smokes, drew out a cigarette, and plugged it in his mouth. He quickly searched his jacket for a lighter, couldn't find it, so pulled out his 'mag-rod and set it to 'flame' mode. He burned half the cigarette doing it that way, and the roof of the upholstery on the car, but it wasn't his, so who gave a fuck. His hand shook the whole time he tried to light the cigarette. That probably wasn't a good sign.

"This might take longer than expected," Tseng said. "Both myself and Rude must be in the building for that meeting. I may even have to officially push Elena's entry to field work even quicker with you out of commission."

"Ugh," Reno said. "Don't tell her I've armed my desk with a grenade if someone opens the top drawer. If she tries to steal it, that's on her head."

"She already disarmed it. She's moved her things to your desk already."

"If she's touched my stuff…" Reno growled threateningly.

"Shinra janitorial removed it at the President's orders. I'm afraid it's all been given away to needy children."

Reno felt murder race through his veins. Of all the evil, twisted things Shinra had ever done, donating the contents of his desk – a stack of porno mags, a spare pistol, a half bottle of moonshine, a staple gun he'd modified to shoot staples across the room at Rude, an entire drawer filled with extra pairs of sunglasses, and a collection of previously chewed gum that he'd artfully sculpted to look like tiny penises – to a bunch of needy, dirty orphans topped his list.

"He must be stopped," Reno said.

"So, how is Raina?"

Reno fidgeted. He opened up the glove box, and began rifling through its contents before he answered, "Drama. Don't wanna talk about it."

"And she's safe?"

"Last I checked."

"She is in your direct line of sight right now, correct?"

Reno felt something cool against his hand, and pulled it from the compartment. It was a golden cameo medallion, a picture of a baby on its front. He contemplated throwing it out the window for a second, and then remembered something Dyne had said. His grin grew positively devilish as he pocketed it.

Tseng spoke up again, "You do see her right now, don't you? She's not out of your, ahem, care, is she?"

"What? No. Of course I can see…" He looked out the front window of the car. There was a pen of chocobos that seemed to be unattended, a barn, a house, but no Raina. "Shit."

"This is why I usually leave the guarding assignments to Rude. Go find her."

Reno hung up, stuffed the medallion into his pocket, and went looking for his wayward charge, a slight panic in his step. He found her in the barn a moment later, having an argument with a farmhand.

"What do you mean, these aren't 'eating chocobos?'" she demanded.

"Uh, as in, we breed these chocobos to ride. Not to eat. We're not going to slaughter a chocobo for you!"

She stamped her foot. "I'm not asking you to! Just sell me one so my man-servant can slaughter it for me, we'll cook it, and that's capitalism in action! Money for stupid bird meat."

Reno smirked, then realized she'd just called him a 'man-servant.' He'd have to curb that line of thought fast.

"These aren't stupid birds!" the farmer exclaimed. "They're… They're … uh…"

"Majestic," Reno supplied.

"Yes! Majestic! They're intelligent and graceful and majestic! They are not for eating!"

"You heard him, princess. Guess we'll need to hit the road." He was going to make a joke about the in-breeding of the chocobos, as well as the possibility of the farmers having sexual relations with their birds, but he suddenly felt so tired. The recent injuries and the Materia healing had taken a lot out of him, and it was beginning to catch up on him.

"Hey, Mister, you okay?" the farmer asked.

That tiredness that felt like a beast clawing at him from the inside seemed to roar. He could feel something rushing through his ears, and he felt a little dizzy.

"Just peachy. I need something delivered. Can you set up something to be mailed?"

"Uh, sure, but it'll cost…" the farmer said lamely.

Reno rolled his eyes, and gil swapped hands, as well as the object he wanted delivered along with the address and instructions that came with it. Some evil part of him laughed on the inside. It was always good to let his inner sadist out to play every once in a while.

He pulled the keys to the car out of his pocket, and threw them to Raina. "You drive. I need to take a nap."

"I'm ten," she said, as if that was some kind of explanation for not knowing how to drive.

"Point and steer," he said. "Push the gas to go, hit the break to stop. Not rocket science. Sleep now!"

"What do you mean 'sleep now'?" Raina said.

He passed out in response to her question.

 

_4:06 pm_

 

Reno stood atop a pillar in the darkness. It was only a little taller than a person, but he knew that if he fell, he would die. All around him, surrounding from every side, were shadows, hands grasping up at him, threatening to pull him downwards.

He drew his gun and fired into the crowd. The weapon barked, but the bullets did no damage to the shades that tried to claim him. They laughed.

"You cannot kill us, killer," one hissed. "You cannot kill what you have already killed."

Others echoed with taunts of their own.

"Murderer!"

"I just wanted a better life!"

"Destroyer!"

"I wanted to see the sky before you brought it down on us all!"

"My children!"

"Shinra was supposed to protect us!"

"Killer!"

"Killer!"

"Killer!"

He fired more rounds into the crowd, and screamed helplessly as they surged to drag him from the pillar that was his lifeline.

 

_4:57 pm_

 

"Reno, wake up!"

He groaned, rubbed at his eyes, and felt around at his breast pocket for his flask. It wasn't there. Meaning, it was in his desk, back at Shinra HQ. Meaning, his flask had also been donated to some grubby little orphans. He made a mental note to burn down an orphanage as soon as he got back to Midgar.

He was still tired. Not fall-unconscious-tired, but still tired. The sun was apparently still up, and he knew he was in the car from his seated position, so even with his eyes closed and the tinted windows, the sunlight still felt like stabbing burning pain to his eyes. This is what came from working during the daylight hours.

"Are we there yet?" he grumbled.

"I don't know where 'there' is! You didn't tell me! And now we're stuck!"

Reno cracked open an eye. "What do you mean 'stuck'?"

Raina had a panicked look on her face. "The car won't move. It's hard enough to hit the pedals and see out the windshield. So we may have, uh, hit a swamp."

Reno snorted. Hit a swamp? There were no swamps near…

Oh no.

Scrambling to roll down a window, Reno could feel the adrenaline already surging through him. He had to make sure panic didn't set in. But if they were where he thought they were…

He poked his head out the window. They were where he thought they were. Where he feared they were.

The Zolom swamps, home of the infamous Midgar Zoloms. Or, to those less familiar with any type of travel guide and local fauna… giant-ass-people-eating-snakes.

He craned his head, and looked back the way the car had come. Raina had apparently plowed them right into the marsh. Behind was a pair of car tracks that were already sinking into the muck, and the edge of the swamp, the promise of not being eaten by a giant-ass-people-eating-snake, was nowhere in sight. She'd apparently pushed the car as hard as it could go until the swamp wouldn't let them go any further.

Retreat via car was unlikely, either forwards or backwards. He could see some trees, and the beginnings of some mountains not too far in the distance, but if they tried it by foot, they'd be caught. They'd probably only made it so far by vehicle without a Zolom attacking by sheer luck. They'd have to go by foot. It could've been worse, though. They could've been dumb enough to try to cross this swamp by chocobo, which was the Zolom's primary food source.

Okay. First things first. Don't panic. Take inventory of what supplies you have on hand. He drew his weapons and checked them over. Gun, half a clip left. Eight bullets. 'Mag-rod. Half a charge left. Good for maybe fifteen, twenty shots, tops. Less, if he used the fireball mechanism. Even less if he wanted to use the self-destruct mechanism. He already knew there was nothing in the glove compartment, so he turned and checked the back seat. There were gas cans. Five of them.

Turning to Raina, he said, "Why'd you get so much gas?"

"I didn't know how much we needed!" she said defensively.

"No, it's good, don't worry. Did you pick anything else up from that farm?"

She pulled out a glowing pink orb from the car's cup holder. "Just a Materia."

He pulled it from her hand, looked into its depths, and shook it. Pink. Not green. Nothing that would make things explode. What good was Materia if it didn't make things go boom?

"It's a Chocobo Lure," Raina supplied. "They wouldn't sell me a chocobo so I bought that so we could catch our own chocobo and eat it."

"We're not eating another chocobo," Reno said absentmindedly. "I already did that joke once."

"Never mind your need for original material, I'm hungry."

"Well, wait a bit. I'm plotting chaos."

"The only food the stupid farm had was some gysahl greens. They said I could make a salad out of it, but I tried and it tasted gross. I'm not eating anymore of that junk."

Reno scratched at his chin, only half listening to her griping, taking inventory of everything they had, until finally, a smile crossed his face. A plan began to form in his mind.

 

_5:14 pm_

 

They had to work quickly and as silently as possible, and had to make sure not to disturb the crust that made up the floor of the majority of the swamp. Pockets of swamp gas were held under it, and when they broke open, they'd release into the air. The rotten egg smell was what attracted the Zoloms. Or so Reno had heard once. When he'd been half-listening to a briefing. That Tseng had said was vitally important to the safety of Midgar. Reno still wasn't sure why. He hadn't really been paying attention.

Raina soaked the car with gasoline, while Reno held the Chocobo Lure Materia. He wasn't good with the stuff. It's why he preferred his 'mag-rod and guns and Rude punching things for him. Still, this was pretty basic stuff. Supposedly, anyone who wore it would attract a chocobo if there were any nearby. If you concentrated really, really hard on it, you  _might_  be able to summon one from a greater distance. He thought. He wasn't too sure. The theory was sound.

Raina let out a growl of frustration. Reno looked to see she'd spilled some gasoline on her dress.

"If this stains…"

He raised a finger to his lips and gave her a shush noise.

She shushed back.

So he gave her another one.

"Shut up!" she hissed.

" _You_  shut up! You'll attract the Zolom!"

"You're the loud one!"

"Your face is the loud one!"

"Well, your mother's loud!"

"No,  _your_  mother's loud, especially after what I did to her last night!"

Raina scrunched up her face and made a gagging sound. Reno laughed, his whole body shaking. He wasn't sure if it was from the laughter or his fatigue again, but it felt good. After a moment of helplessly watching Reno, Raina joined in.

After a few moments, they both stopped and Reno asked, "Why was I telling you to shut up again?"

"Because the Zoloms are gonna come and eat us."

"Oh, right."

As if on cue, the marshy surface of the ground broke, and a giant snake burst forth. Raina screamed. Reno had expected it to be big, but it was  _huge._ The Zolom was easily bigger than the trees in the distance, and thicker around by at least three times.

The beast lunged at Raina, jaws agape, but Reno thrust his 'mag-rod forward, pressing the fire button even hidden as it was by a pile of leaves tied around its length, and a fireball lanced out from its tip, striking the serpent in the eye. It reeled back, hissing in pain, and before it could recover, Reno shoved the Lure Materia into his jacket, scooped Raina up in his arms and began to run for the trees and mountains in the distance.

"Give me your—" Raina tried to say, but Reno was already handing her his 'mag-rod.

"Red button on the side is for fire!" he said, jumping over a rock that didn't look too settled. "Just point it at the car and click when the Zolom's over it!"

Immediately after he said it, he heard the telltale  _fwoosh_  the weapon made, and there was an explosion, followed by more hisses of pain. Reno didn't stop to look if the giant snake was dead, but given its size, he really fucking doubted it.

A moment later, his suspicions were confirmed. He could hear it rushing over the swampy ground. Now no longer travelling underneath it, it had apparently decided to make a beeline directly for them. Ahead, he could see the trees and the foothills of the Mythril mountains. Sixty feet.

He pushed his legs as hard as he could.

Fifty feet.

Behind him, he could hear the Zolom approaching, getting ever closer.

Fourty feet.

They weren't going to make it.

Thirty feet.

Briefly, he entertained the thought of dropping Raina and saving himself.

Twenty feet.

Somewhere, nearby, he heard a sound. A beautiful sound he'd never thought he'd be glad to hear. It sounded kind of like a  _kweh_.

It came from his left. Reno checked, half-turning and trying not to stumble as he ran, and saw a chocobo running directly for him. The oversized yellow bird had that same stupid expression all chocobos seemed to have, like a giant chicken with Down's Syndrome that was only too happy to make your acquaintance.

"I love it when a plan comes together," Reno said.

In one motion, he turned to face the giant fucking snake, and with Raina held awkwardly in one arm, he fished out and threw the Chocobo Lure Materia at the Zolom with the other. The Chocobo gave a  _kweh! s_ ound of confusion, unsure of why it had a sudden compulsion to run  _toward_  its natural predator.

"Rod!" Reno barked, as he stopped running and turned to face the oncoming snake.

Raina handed him the 'mag-rod, and climbed from his arms, moving to hide behind him. The chocobo had also stopped, looking intently at the pink orb which glowed in the oncoming wake of the Zolom. Despite the compulsion of the Materia, the chocobo didn't run towards the snake.

But it had stopped.

The Zolom paused, looking from Reno and Raina to the chocobo. To the one who had wounded it, and probably would again, and to its regular food source which it frequently dined on.

Then Reno flipped a switch on the bottom of his leaf-covered 'mag-rod and hurled it toward the tree line.

The chocobo watched the rod sail away, and then caught the scent. The scent of gysahl greens that the weapon had been covered with. It ran towards its food, which was coincidentally also away from the Zolom. Animal instinct. Away from the predator, toward the scent of what kept you alive.

What the chocobo did not count on, and what Reno had planned for, was that the Zolom had its own instinct. The chocobo ran before Reno did. So the Zolom gave chase.

What the Zolom did not count on, and also what Reno had planned for, was that his 'mag-rod, which the chocobo was now streaking towards, had a self-destruct mechanism. And that the 'mag-rod had a Materia battery powering it. And that Materia, when it exploded, even when it was the size of your thumbnail, made a huge godamn explosion.

The chocobo reached the 'mag-rod. The Zolom reached the chocobo. The 'mag-rod reached zero on its explosive timer. Reno shielded Raina with his body as he ran in the opposite direction. All according to plan.

What Reno did not count was that the swamps were filled with methane. So, when the 'mag-rod made a huge godamn explosion, said explosion was even bigger than he'd planned for. The blast was deafening. Reno felt the force and the heat of the explosion hit his back, and he was hurled forward. He managed to twist as he was thrown, landing on his back and not crushing the little girl that he was carrying. And, as he was falling, saw the greatest, most beautiful thing his eyes would ever witness.

The Zolom flew through the air. Its eyes were panicked, and a question clearly enveloped its tiny reptile brain as it did.

'What the fuck is happening evolution did not equip me for this shit I've made some very poor life decisions I really should not have fucked with that Reno guy why oh why did I not fucking mind my own business?'

And then the Zolom, sailing through the air, carried by the explosive force, landed neck first on a giant tree, impaling it. The tree wobbled briefly, as if unsure if it could hold the weight of the giant snake, and the Zolom thrashed briefly, but that only caused blood to positively jet out of the wound it had taken, and there was no saving it now.

Dropping Raina, Reno laughed and pointed at the dying beast.

"Did you fucking  _see_  that?" he said, turning to her. "Kill of the Month! No, fuck that. Kill of the  _Year!_  There is no fucking way Rude is topping this!"

He pulled his stolen PHS from his pocket, and snapped a few quick pictures.

"We should write my fucking name in the ground," he said. "'Reno was here, all you other fucks better watch out' or something. Or just 'RENO' but really  _huge_. I don't want some other asshole getting credit for this."

"That's great," Raina said, standing up and brushing the swamp muck out of her dress. "But won't that huge explosion just signal whoever's looking for us? They could probably see it all the way from Kalm."

He snorted. "Pfft. It was just an explosion. Even if they  _could_  see it, why would anyone possibly think I had anything to do with it?"

"Because you're an avatar of chaos and destruction?"

He grinned at that. "I kind of am, aren't I? I should make business cards of that. Reno Fucking Melville, Turk, Avatar of Chaos and Destruction. The 'fucking' is intrinsic to the business card."

"Reno!" Raina barked.

"Okay, we'll go. But can we at least put my initials down?"

She kicked him in the shin.

He sucked in a breath, and tried not to swear at the sudden pain. "Some asshole has been a really bad influence on you. I remember you being nicer."

"You're that asshole," she said. "Now let's go before those bounty hunters show up."

"Fine, but if someone else takes credit for that dead Zolom, I will be so pissed."

 

_7:42 pm_

 

The two made their way through the Mythril Mines with little difficulty, although Reno had wanted to check every nook and cranny for shiny things, and Raina, the more adult of the two, had to keep him focused on navigating their way through it.

Once they were out of the caves, it was up to Reno to keep Raina diverted from the looming sight of Fort Condor in the distance. It was kind of hard, though, because it was a giant godamn mountain with a giant godamn reactor with a giant godamn bird on it.

"Oh! Bird!"

"No!" Reno said.

"I wanna see!"

"You can see it from here!"

"But I wanna see it closer!"

"You wouldn't let me write my name in the dirt by the Zolom. You can see the stupid condor just fine from here."

She crossed her arms and pouted. "You're no fun."

"I am awesome amounts of fun; I'm just made for an adult audience. Come on, we're not too far from Junon. They have all the best hookers and booze."

"Hookers and booze aren't fun. Hookers just try to kidnap me all the time, and booze tastes like pickled butt." She made an exaggerated look of disgust as she said it, holding both hands to her throat while sticking her tongue out.

"Okay, that only happened one time, and the people in Kalm can't make good booze to save their lives. Now, c'mon, we gotta get to Junon before I pass out again, and we've gotta avoid the woods. Apparently some ninja is waiting to kill me in them."

He felt tired and weak, but he could tell just by looking at Raina that she wasn't going to be able to make it. She put on a brave smile, but she was too young, too small. Her legs wouldn't be able to carry her much further. Again, the thought of just leaving her behind hit him.

Instead, he picked her up and set her on his shoulders, and gave her a piggyback ride as they continued forward.

 

_9:29 pm_

 

By the time they arrived in Junon, Reno was about ready to collapse. His feet were sore, his shoulders and back were a living agony, and his suit was thoroughly soaked through with his own sweat. At some point, he'd had to evict Raina from his shoulders just long enough to discard and throw away his jacket. His shirt was unbuttoned all the way, and didn't even maintain a pretense of being tucked in anymore. He felt about ready to fall over and just let the assassins come for him.

When they entered the town, he let Raina down off his back, and she positively bounced as she looked about, eyes curious and unable to stand still. Next time, Reno noted, he would let her walk.

He hadn't planned beyond this. There was a Turk safe house in Junon, but it was on the upper level, not in the shithouse poor town that was Lower Junon. He knew he had to get there, but he wasn't sure how. The guards at the elevator up would likely be on high alert. Well, at least, 'Shoot the wanted Turk on sight' alert.

He was too tired to come up with a plan, but after thinking for a second, realized he didn't have to. He could subcontract his planning to someone else.

Pulling out his PHS, Reno quickly dialed the number for Tseng.

"Reno," came the terse reply. "I'm a little busy at the moment."

"Pfft, like you do actual work."

"Avalanche survived and has infiltrated Shinra Tower. We're tailing them now. Whatever it is, make it quick."

"I'm in, uh, shit." He couldn't say 'Junon' over an open line. "The place with, uh, the summer house that, uh, overlooks the ocean. Having difficulty getting to the top floor, though. Any ideas?"

Tseng paused, then responded, "There's an electrical tower you can climb nearby—"

"If that's your plan, fuck off, only someone really stupid is going to climb an electrical tower to get inside."

"Well, I am a trifle busy. You'll have to figure it out on your own."

And then the line disconnected.

Reno looked at the PHS incredulously, then in a fit of annoyance, threw it to the ground and stomped on it. He was tired, without backup, and needed  _help_  godammit, and Tseng was just hanging him out to dry. The man claimed he was going to be able to 'fix this', but even if he managed to square Reno in the eyes of the President, there was still the question of Raina. For whatever reason, the sadistic fuck just would not let her go, so intent on his sick game.

He looked at the smashed remnants of the PHS on the ground. He'd kept it on him this entire time, hoping that the bounty hunters would track it. He'd wanted to get them to find him at the safe house, where he'd have any number of guns and 'mag-rods and Materia and automated defenses to face them down with, all while Raina was in the comfort and safety of a local inn, dining on expensive room service that would be expensed right to Tseng. Without it, he didn't know how he'd get them to follow him. This was the last bit of control he'd had.

He felt his shoulders begin to shake, and a laugh escaped his lips. It was a broken, stuttering laugh, the sign of a broken, stuttering fool.

"Why don't we bribe the guards?"

Reno stopped, and looked at Raina.

She shuffled her feet, but pressed on. "My dad says there isn't a problem in the world that can't be solved by throwing money at it. If you're worried about the guards, give them money."

He tried to think of an objection. "But… I like to solve my problems with fire. Show me a problem that can't be solved with fire, and I'll show you blatant lies."

"A forest fire," Raina countered.

"Add more fire," Reno said. "Starve out the oxygen supply."

Rained frowned. "Cancer."

"Set fire to the person with cancer. Burn the cancer right out of him."

"A drought."

"Boil someone else's water supply with copious amounts of fire. It evaporates. Eventually it rains. Hopefully on you. If not, repeat."

"You've given this way too much thought."

He shrugged. "I get bored sometimes. Alright, c'mon, we'll go bribe our way past the guards and hit the safe house."

He offered his hand, which she grabbed, and the two walked down the street, rounded a corner, and nearly ran headfirst into Dyne, who was holding Cait Sith by the throat, his gun-arm leveled right at the plush feline's temple.

"Nobody move or the kitty gets it," the man hissed.

Reno looked at Dyne, looked at Cait Sith, looked at Dyne, then at the robotic, stuffed toy that would absolutely not in any way hurt him at all if it died or even Reeve who was operating it, and then laughed.

"Really?" Reno asked. "This is your hostage? This is the best you could come up with?"

"The locket!" Dyne yelled. "Give me the locket, or the cat dies, the girl dies, and I shoot off your legs and arms and leave you to bleed out. Then… then I move on to killing everyone else in the world."

The thing was, Dyne could probably do it, too. Well, except for that last part. Reno was just down to a single pistol, he was about as tired as he could be without passing out again, and Dyne had, well, a gun-arm. It was nearly hopeless, if not for one thing. And then Reno realized something.

"Son of a bitch!" he yelled.

"Yes, I have you just where I want you. Now, gimme my damn locket. It's all I have left of my daughter."

"Oh, like I give a shit about your drama right now. I fucking smashed by godamn PHS. It was the only evidence of my fucking Kill of the Month. No one's even going to fucking believe that story about the Zolom."

Cait made a squeaking noise, and yelped, "More pressing issues right now, Reno!"

"Right, yeah. Maniac with a gun-arm. I can work with this."

"There won't be any working with anything! Give me the locket now, or else!"

"Oh, that old piece of junk? Was in the glove compartment of your car? I mailed it to a Shinra outpost, with instructions to destroy it unless they received a call from me within twenty four hours of receiving it."

Dyne's jaw dropped a little, a look of consternation covering his face. "You… you did what?"

"Yep. Gold locket, kind of plain, but if you open it up, there's an engraving of a baby with the name 'Marlene' under it. Here's the deal. Pop the mag out of your gun-arm, remove the firing pin, and, hell, the bolt for good measure, I promise  _not_  to try to regain my status of Kill of the Month by doing something particularly grotesque to you, and then I'll tell you where I mailed your stupid locket, and we'll be on our way."

Dyne growled, "I think I can—"

"I don't give a flying fuck what you think you can do. I'm a fucking Turk. You're a godamn amputee with delusions of fucking grandeur. So. Mag, firing pin, and bolt now, or I shoot you in the fucking knee, and the last memory of your dead daughter gets melted down and then probably turned into shell casings for ammunition to suppress the next godamn town that works against Shinra."

There was a madness in Dyne's eyes. A ferocity and insanity that Reno had only seen beaten once before. By himself, every time he looked in the mirror every morning.

And Dyne could see it, too.

The rage and vengeance and darkness in Dyne's eyes met the casual cool psychotic that could look death in the eye and giggle before shooting it in the balls and fucking its daughter that was Reno, and Dyne's madness blinked first.

Dyne liked to talk a big game. But Reno lived to play that game.

"You're insane," he said.

Reno smiled. "I'm plenty sane. Got a clarity about me. But the voice in my head? That guy's fucking nuts."

Dyne dropped Cait, popped the magazine out of his gun-arm, then opened the mechanism, and removed the firing pin and bolt, throwing both pieces needed to make the gun fire to the ground. He closed the mechanism, then growled, "Where is the locket?"

"Sent it to the Shinra guard office in Gold Saucer. Looks like you're going home."

Dyne narrowed his eyes, began to turn, and then Reno pulled his gun out, quickly aimed for Dyne's kneecap, and blew it off. The man let out a bellow, fell over, and Reno aimed the pistol at his head.

"See, now, to get my Kill of the Month back, I'm going to have to be  _really_ fucking inventive."

"You…" Dyne snarled. "You…"

"Reno!" Raina barked. "Let him go."

He knew what was coming next. He'd look at her. She'd have that tearful innocent expression. She'd say something stupid about him giving Dyne his word, which he hadn't actually done. He didn't want to see it, didn't want to hear it.

Maybe he was getting soft. He lowered his gun.

"Get out of here," Reno said.

"I'll kill you. You and that bitch girl. I will do things to her you—"

Reno shot Dyne in the kneecap again. And again. And again. He emptied what remained in his clip, all into one small portion of Dyne's leg. The man screamed, shrieks of agony that sounded like they should come more from a swine than a human. When the gun clicked empty, Reno holstered it, and then kicked the bloody knee as hard as he could.

"You don't  _touch_  her! You don't even fucking  _think_  it!"

"He's had enough!" Cait yelled.

"Has he, Raina? This fuck might come for you. He might come for me. Has he had enough?" he snarled.

He turned to face her, expecting to see defiance in her eyes, some resolve, demanding him to stop. That imperious Shinra pose, the arrogance wanting obedience accompanied by the innocence of the child he knew that she was. Maybe she'd demand that he stop. Or maybe he'd see pity in her eyes, feeling sorry for the disgusting killer that he happened to be. Yeah. Pity. That would fit.

Instead, as he looked her in the eyes, he saw indecision. He saw fear. He saw how tired she was of running for her life. He could see her about to give in. She was about to agree with him. She was about to give him  _permission_.

That, more than anything, brought him up short. He sank to his knees, grabbed the girl in a rough hug, and whispered to her, over and over, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

He didn't know why he was apologizing. He didn't even know if it was Raina that he was apologizing to. He just knew that he had to say it.

"It's okay," she said. "It's okay."

 

_10:01 pm_

 

After Reno finished and composed himself – he did  _not_  cry, he swore – they sent Dyne on his merry way of blood loss and sobbed promises of vengeance and a vow to destroy the world and kill everyone. Reno contented himself with the fact that no matter how much Materia healing and surgery was done on Dyne's leg, he'd probably be stuck with a limp for the rest of his life, for however long that was.

Bribing the guard at the elevator to Upper Junon wasn't hard either. The man didn't even seem to realize that Reno was a wanted man. He just gazed longingly at the ten gil that Reno waved in front of his face, which made the Turk kind of worry about the pay scale of the average Shinra guard if ten gil was enough to make him look the other way for a wanted fugitive. Unless his wanted status was a secret. Or hadn't made its way to Junon yet. Reno really should've checked into that.

As they walked through the city of Upper Junon, Reno began to feel that familiar sense of dread that always went hand-in-hand with any mission that was beginning to feel a little too easy. Three assassins down. Two to go.

Not too much further until the safe house. Just two houses down. He really felt like something was going to go wrong.

"Is that where we're going?" Cait asked, pointing to a small townhouse wedged between two larger commercial buildings.

"Yeah."

"There's a note posted on the door."

Reno frowned. The last time he'd used this safe house, he'd shot four solicitors. Word had gotten out pretty thoroughly at that point.

Reno muttered as he stalked towards the door, "I swear, if Heidegger let our budget slip and rent wasn't paid, I'm going to…"

He snatched the letter off and quickly read it. Well, at least it wasn't an eviction notice. What it was, though, was kind of disappointing.

_To whom it may concern,_

_I am an old man with a bitter hatred for your employers, but I refuse to do their work for them. While you yourself may be a vile piece of human garbage,_ \- Reno smirked at that –  _there does seem to be some hope for you._

_Under any other circumstance, I would be content with ridding the world of your particular evil, but as I have said, I am an old man now, and I can barely jump as I used to. I must now pick my fights, and from what I have seen of you, and how you protect the girl in your charge…_

"Blah blah blah," Reno said.

He skimmed the rest of the note, found it to be boring, and it was signed, "Zangan." Who the fuck left a note and didn't make an appearance? Did he do this with all of his social engagements? Crumpling the letter up, Reno tossed it aside, thoroughly disappointed that the famed martial artist apparently had not bothered to even have the dignity to show up.

"Guess we're down to just one assassin left, kiddo," he said.

Raina heaved a sigh of relief. Reno fished a keycard from his pocket, and swiped it through the door's lock. It made that  _beep_  noise he loved so much. Except sometimes. Sometimes, it made him want to murder people.

He opened the door, eager to get at the weapons within. He stepped in, giving the front hall a brief sweep, making sure to check the corners. It was a safe house, but Reno was waiting for his luck to run out. He waved for Raina and Cait to follow.

He checked every room – kitchen, living room, bathroom, and storage room, saw nothing out of place, and then proceeded to loot the latter for whatever he could find. The storage room as it was so quaintly called was really just an oversized weapons locker the size of most people's hovels in Midgar. It was filled with every piece of Shinra issue weaponry that could be wielded by a single person without having to drive it, as well as a few pieces of Wutaian 'contraband', as some Shinra officials liked to call it. A new magazine was loaded into his pistol, four clips were distributed between his various pockets, and two brand new 'mag-rods were acquired, stored away in a breast and an ankle holster respectively.

Nearby, Cait was fiddling with a briefcase, which, when opened, revealed a small grouping of green and yellow Materia orbs, each labeled and indicating what they did.

"Can a robot doll even use Materia?" Reno asked.

"I think so," the cat answered. "Why couldn't I?"

"Well, you're accessing Ancient knowledge, right? Cetra bullshit and stuff. So, assume you're operating Cait Sith as Reeve from miles and miles and miles away. Your real self gets the knowledge of the Ancients and the knowhow to use the magic in one quick burst. So, how do you channel that power over the distance back to your doll? I mean, how does the knowledge even transmit through a robot in the first place?"

Cait took one of the orbs, affixed it to a bangle he was wearing on his arm, and said, "You're a lot smarter than people give you credit for."

Reno grunted, and glanced out the door of the storage room. He couldn't see Raina in his immediate line of sight. "Hey, girl, where are you?"

"I'm in the necessary!" she called back after a moment.

Reno looked to Cait for a translation, who said, "Bathroom."

Nodding, the Turk fished a cigarette out of his pocket, lit it with one of his new 'mag-rods, and took a long drag, before saying, "I'm not the idiot everyone thinks I am. I'm crazy as fuck. I'll be the first to admit that. Not a day goes by where I don't look at someone and wonder if I'm going to kill that person. Not, like, for a mission or anything. Just… hey. Is that person going to butt in front of me in line for coffee? Will Rude be there to stop me from pulling my gun and shooting them in public because, well, why the fuck not, right? I have the power. I have the authority. Do you think Shinra gives a shit if I gun people down in public? I'll give you a hint. They don't. I've put that theory to the test. They just don't like me making a spectacle."

"You make spectacles all the time," Cait observed. "It's kind of your thing, isn't it?"

"You kidding me? The random shit I do around the office epitomizes Shinra. People sit behind their computers and crunch numbers or file reports or whatever the fuck desk monkeys do all day long… and they're bored out of their fucking minds. And here I come, every day, in some spectacular display of … I don't know. Irresponsibility. Boredom. Craziness. And people watch. Everyone watches. And they wonder if today is the day that I kill them, or if today is the day where I give them that brief flash of light in their day to make it worth seeing the next one."

Cait chuckled. "You're not serious. You're honestly equating the terror and agony you put your fellow man through with, what, Shinra keeping the lights on and providing people with government and stability?"

"Fuck government. Fuck stability. Shinra fucking gives people power to keep their televisions on, and that's all that people care about. So long as they have that, they're perfectly fine with sector plates being dropped on their neighbours, just so long as it doesn't happen to them. People are sheep, and the fact that Shinra's never tried to punish me for my random shit just proves my theory."

"Except," Cait said, gently, "they've been trying to have you killed all day today."

Reno took another drag on his cigarette. "For doing one good thing."

Raina walked into the storage room, holding a brown paper bag that had the Shinra logo on it. She held it out to Reno, and said, "Is this food? Because I'm starving, and you have to cook for me, because  _I'm_  the boss of you."

Reno took the bag, opened it, looked inside and saw that it was Shinra army rations. Tseng likely had the cupboards filled with nothing but these and ramen, knowing the way Heidegger budgeted things. He handed it back to her, and told her to get another one out for him. It wouldn't take long to cook. He'd make them, eat, and then finally, blissfully, fall asleep. Maybe for more than an hour, even. He hoped that dream wouldn't make a reappearance.

When she left, Reno said quietly, low enough only for him and Cait to hear. "I could be back in Shinra's good graces in an instant. You said it yourself. I'm a lot smarter than people assume. All I'd have to do is kill Raina. I've been thinking about it all day."

There was an edge to Cait's voice as he responded, "And?"

Reno took the last inhale from his cigarette, and put it out on the bottom of his shoe before he answered, "Turns out, I'm just as stupid as people think I am."

 

_10:16 pm_

 

Reno was a far better cook than anyone expected him to be. Anyone who chased women half as much as someone like Reno did had to pick up a few skills along the way to help them hone their craft. Sure, he was handsome, and he knew just how to talk to women, just how to keep them interested, how to catch their eyes and hold them. He knew how to stand, how to exude confidence, how to put the right amount of arrogance into his bearing that women wanted to see if he really was worthy of it, without putting out so much that he just seemed cocky. He knew all that, but he was also an expert in three particular fields of study – fashion, dancing, and cooking. He knew how to dress, he knew how to move on the dance floor, and he knew how to make an amazing meal, and be able to recognize good food when he encountered it, even if he did like to shovel pancakes into his body whenever he could.

Despite all that, though, there was only so much one could do with army rations, particularly ones commissioned by Shinra. You didn't cook them so much as heat them up, and it wasn't like there were any spices or condiments in the spare kitchen that Reno could use to at least make them palatable. It didn't take him long to present a steaming pile of mushy substance that was supposedly macaroni with some kind of red sauce that claimed to be tomato. Raina took one look at it, scrunched up her nose, and pushed the plate away.

"You said you were hungry," Reno said.

"I am. I would fucking gut a hobo for a cheeseburger right now—"

"Language, missy!" Cait interrupted.

"Yeah," Reno said. "They're called 'transients.'"

For some reason, that got him a glare from Cait. Briefly, the Turk did begin to wonder where Raina was picking up these particular turns of phrase.

She continued, "This smells like day old octopus barf ground with dead cat. Are you trying to feed me dead cat?"

"It can't taste that awful," Cait said. He hopped up onto the table from his chair, walked across it, and took a forkful of food before putting it in his mouth. A second later, he was gagging it onto the floor, crying, "I'm controlling a robot from miles away and somehow I can still taste it. Oh god, I can still taste it. Why did I insist on full sensory input when designing this?"

"It's not that bad," Reno said.

"Then you eat it," Raina countered.

Defiantly, he picked up her plate, took the fork from Cait, made as if to take a bite, and then threw it all in the trash bin.

"Bluff called," she said, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yeah yeah, you win. I'll order takeout."

He turned from her to the phone that hung on the wall, and that was the moment when the other shoe finally dropped. The reinforced front door to the safe house folded inwards and slammed into the wall with an earth shaking bang. Reno turned, drew a pistol in one hand and a 'mag-rod with the other, and fired three bullets at centre mass of the green creature suddenly surging down the front hallway directly at him. The serpent-like mutation that was now Candi flowed out of the way of two of the shots, but the third one connected, and bounced harmlessly off her scaled hide.

He really hoped her mutation was a result of some Hojo-implied experiment on her dead corpse, and not some kind of weird Mako-enhanced STD. He made a mental note to get checked once this was all over, just in case.

Then again, all the doctors Reno knew were mad scientists who turned people into giant mutated snake-things, so, maybe not.

She slashed forward with her clawed hand, scoring the walls as she moved, and as she emerged into the dining room, she smashed the table upwards with her club-like left arm. Raina screamed. Cait went flying through the air as the surface he was standing on was flipped over.

Reno aimed more precisely, firing off his gun as he took careful steps backward. In all the movies, people always advanced when firing, which never made sense to him. Guns were  _ranged_  weapons. Distance was your friend.

He had this. He knew he did. He'd been trained for this. Equipped for this. Tseng had drilled it into him. Rude had beaten it into him. Life had made sure to gouge it into him.

And then the tiredness set in. He took another step backwards, and his leg folded under him, unable to support his weight any longer. He fell. He squeezed off another two rounds as he did. One impacted off Candi's lopsided head, the other harmlessly went through the ceiling. This was it, Reno knew. This was what would finally kill him. He really hoped that misfire into the ceiling had at least hit an innocent bystander.

He struck the ground. Candi was on top of him immediately, the club-like arm smashing into his side. The other tried to claw at him, but she apparently misjudged her own strength, because the force from the blow she'd given him shoved him out of the way of that attack.

"We can finally be together," she hissed. "You, inside me, forever."

And then her jaw elongated.

Reno raised his 'mag-rod and shoved it in, blazing her throat with electricity. She jerked away, her mouth snapping shut as she did. Teeth tore at his fingers as he pulled back. Ripping the 'mag-rod out of Reno's hand with her teeth, Candi swallowed the offending weapon. So he lifted his pistol and emptied the magazine into her face. He got lucky. Most of the bullets did little to no damage, but one hit her left eye. She recoiled away with a shriek, her head flopping uselessly to one side. Apparently, whatever Hojo had done to 'fix' her hadn't actually unbroken her neck. Reno filed that bit of information away under 'Ways I Can't Kill Her,' and tried to escape.

He made it to one knee, but once he tried to put any weight on his foot while standing, he immediately collapsed again. His nose smashed into the floor, and he had to blink away tears. Growling in frustration, he tried to claw and crawl his way to retreat.

Something grabbed his leg. He kicked frantically, flopped around until he was facing Candi who'd managed to clutch at him, and screamed at her.

He was dead. This was it. Kicking. Screaming. His own bad decisions coming up to get him. Somehow, he'd always known this was how it'd end.

And then she stopped.

Her whole serpentine body jerked once, then froze. He could see the fear in her eyes. Candi was trying to move, but for some reason, her body wasn't obeying her. She let go of his leg, and rose to her full height. Reno risked a glance around her, and saw Cait Sith, standing proudly on a book case, one arm raised up as a yellow orb glowed sharply from the bangle he wore on his wrist.

Son of a bitch. Was that a Manipulate Materia?

And then Candi bludgeoned herself in the face with her own club-like fist. She grunted, struck herself again, and let out a moan, her mouth opening wide and greenish blood dribbling out.

"Stop hitting yourself!" Cait shouted with glee, as he brandished the insidious Manipulate Materia, working her like a puppet, and counter to his verbal orders, she struck herself again in the face. "Stop hitting yourself!"

Reno turned again, got his feet under him, and braced himself against the hallway wall as he rose. Manipulation on that scale was powerful, but temporary. The act of striking herself meant they'd only have moments before she got out from under its control. If Cait had just left her stationary, they might've been able to escape…

The bathroom door was ahead. Reno all but fell into the room, catching himself on the frame, and looked backward. Candi was still busy bashing in her own face, and it was beginning to show. The side without the eye looked like it was about to cave in. Reno knew that with just a few more hits, she'd kill herself. All the while, Cait chanted, "Stop hitting yourself!"

So, of course, it was at that precise moment that she came out of the control.

She went rigid again, and the armed that had been half-raised to pummel and crush in her orbital socket stopped.

Reno awkwardly fumbled with his pistol, trying to put another clip in, but his hands refused to obey properly. They felt numb, and they were slippery with his blood, and they were beginning to shake. Materia healing was all fine and dandy normally, but if your torso and half your internal organs had been nearly ripped apart by automatic weapon fire, apparently spending the next day up and running for your life was about the stupidest thing you could do afterwards.

Candi turned, and rushed at the stuffed doll standing on the book case. Cait let out a yelp of a surprise, but wasn't able to dodge out of her way. The clawed hand came up, and sliced him neatly in half. His feet and lower belly stood erect, unmoving, but the top half made a panicked scream as it fell downwards.

Candi's mouth elongated open, hideously wide, and swallowed him.

Reno tried to slam the new magazine into his pistol, but it was too awkward, slipped out of his hands, and hit the floor. Turning, he saw the bathroom window. If he could pry it open, maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to escape.

And then he heard gunshots. Small calibre. Had to be from Raina's puny little .22.

And then she screamed.

He didn't know what he was doing, but he dove at the bathroom cabinet, slammed it open, and threw toiletries every which direction. Toothpaste, useless. Toothbrushes, useless. Small box of tampons, useless. Dental floss, useless. First aid kid…

No time to be subtle. He doubted he could work the latch to get it open right now anyway. It was plastic, cheap, Shinra-made.

So, Reno slammed the case as hard as he could on the edge of the sink. Supplies scattered in every which direction. Gauze, Band-Aids, tweezers…

And two syringes, carefully sealed ahead of time. One red, one purple. He didn't bother with the purple. The last thing he needed right now was a shot of tranquillizer.

More gunshots. More screaming. He had to move faster, had to be faster, had to be better.

Somehow, Reno managed to rip the package open for the syringe, pulled the stopper off, and didn't even bother trying to make sure there were no air bubbles in the fluid before jabbing a full dose of Hyper directly into his heart.

No more shots sounded from the other room. No more screams.

Gasping desperately for breath, he nearly fell over. He kept his feet, drew his spare 'mag-rod, and turned from the bathroom.

There were no taunts. There were no jokes. Reno charged as hard as he could, letting the drug flow through him and take over, angry at everything. At Shinra, at Candi, at the President, at himself…

He emerged into the dining room. Candi stood facing him, holding her clawed hand up. Raina hung from it, impaled through the abdomen.

The sound Reno made wasn't human. It was pain and hurt and fury and it was red. Everything was red. Blood on the ground. Blood on Candi's talons. Blood on his hands. So much blood on his hands.

She made a sweeping motion with her arm, and Raina flew from where she'd been impaled, hitting the wall beside him, hard.

Everything in him screamed to kill Candi, right then and there. Kill her, and then see to Raina. That's what Turk training stated. See to yourself first, make sure you made it out of the conflict, then see to your charge. Don't get the both of you killed.

Reno had never been much for following the rules.

He shot off three fireballs in her general direction, but didn't bother to wait to see if any of them hit. It was good enough that she flinch away. Picking Raina's blood-soaked body up, he bolted for the front door. She was light. He knew exactly how heavy she was, he'd just been carrying her across grassy fields all the way to Junon, but she felt lighter now, and that wasn't a good sign. Her little body didn't have a lot of blood in it to begin with. If she was noticeably lighter… no. Had to be because of the Hyper coursing in his veins. He felt like he could lift mountains right now.

He had to make it to some kind of hospital or hospice or clinic or  _something_. He had to do it fast. The closest one was… the medical bay, in the Shinra barracks.

If the guards stationed there realized the President had put a hit on him, they'd probably kill him. But, the buffoons they regularly hired for the guard positions tended to get squeamish at killing kids. Probably why the President had subcontracted out for this hit. Short of psychopaths like Sephiroth in Soldier, if you wanted to kill a kid, you typically went to the Turks, who would clearly be conflicted in this particular instance. If he went to those barracks, he could get Raina fixed. He could bribe or threaten someone into helping. The problem was, it'd likely cost his life.

He willed more speed into his legs, his runner's build carrying him like a gazelle through the streets of Junon. Carrying a child and soaked in blood, people gave him startled looks whenever he passed them. He didn't care. He never cared what people thought about him.

"Reno…"

He glanced down, and Raina was looking up at him. She was smiling for some stupid reason.

"My knight…" she said, and reached out to touch his cheek with a bloody hand.

"Don't move," he growled. "You're not supposed to move someone who's wounded, and… and, dammit, it was either this or leave you with her, but don't make it worse.  _Please_."

"Don't… cry…"

He could feel those stupid tears travelling down his cheeks again. He let out a snort of laughter, incredulous.

"I hit my stupid nose," he said. "Turks don't cry. Just… hit my nose on the ground back there is all."

"I knew it'd be okay," she said weakly. She coughed, before continuing. "Because you're here. Everything…. Everything… will be fine."

That wasn't true. She didn't know anything. He was the king of disaster. Plans fell apart when Reno was around. The only thing he could be counted on for was to be the absolute centre of destruction. He wasn't made to protect things. He didn't have it in him.

But he had to believe. Godammit, he had to. If he gave up, Raina would die. She would die, and then, all he'd have to do was just sit down and wait for the Shinra hit squad to show up.

So he kept running, kept moving, kept not thinking about how her life was leaking out of her with every second, with every movement he made. He couldn't stop to make her a tourniquet. He couldn't stop to even properly apply pressure on the wound. If he slowed down for a second, Candi would probably be on top of him, and then…

He rounded a corner.

And there Candi was, waiting for him. Her face was burned along one side, missing an eye on the other. That entire side of her face had been smashed in, but she didn't seem overly concerned. Her head flopped to one side, from where he'd broken her neck so long ago, and now, he really wished he'd done some overkill on her, really taken the time to cut off her head and burn her body back when he'd murdered her.

"You keep running!" she snarled. "You can never escape our love!"

He glanced around. People had cleared the streets as hastily as they could, but he could see everything he needed. An umbrella had been dropped to the ground. The elevator leading up to the top of the Junon cannon was beginning to whirl up, ready to take passengers to the top of the immensely large weapon. Nearby, a helicopter buzzed through the air, probably taking fleeing people to another portion of the town. A dog, its hackles up at the sight of Candi, barked. To the left, there was no wall of buildings, but a drop to the ocean side below, a fall that would kill anything.

Reno had everything he needed. He had a plan. He knew how to win.

And then Candi exploded.

Pieces of green serpent rained everywhere, showering down on Reno, who flinched away. The body, what was left of it, fell over.

"What…" he said in shock. "What just happened?"

And then, half of Cait Sith, holding a glowing green Materia orb aloft, climbed out of the remains and screamed, "Kill of the Month!"

"Oh fuck off!" Reno shouted at the skies.

 

_10:53 pm_

 

Luckily, one of the Materia Cait had attached to his bangle in addition to the Manipulate and Fire ones he'd used so effectively against Candi was a Restore. Neither he nor Reno were doctors, but you didn't need a fancy license to call on the power of the Ancients and will wounds away. While Raina was small, and had lost a lot of blood, Cait managed to seal the wounds.

All the while, Reno watched, pacing back and forth, blood boiling in his veins, a cigarette in his mouth. He finally threw his shirt away, soaked in blood as it was, in pure frustration, and stalked up and down the street bare-chested. He didn't care if he was making a scene. A godamn Mako-mutated-snake-person had just blown up in the middle of the street. If that hadn't filled people's quota of nosing-in-other-people's-drama, he didn't know what would, so he might as well give them a show.

"What're we going to do now?" Cait asked.

"What's this 'we' shit? You're half a doll. I'd be more comfortable if you could get us an operational unit that's in one piece and can walk on his own."

"I could probably get one to you, but I'd have to shut this one down first. Operating more than one at a time could lead to some bad consequences. Stuff like amnesia, fried synapses, who knows what else. This is all experimental tech."

"Well, do that. We'll be back at the safe house waiting for you."

He flicked the cigarette away, and watched as the lights behind Cait's eyes went out. He waited a minute after they did, just to make sure Reeve didn't try turning it back on to scare him as some kind of prank, and satisfied that the doll wouldn't be reactivating, he kicked it over the edge of the road, down to the ocean below. He turned to face Raina, who was standing unsteadily, but defiant.

"Where are we going, really?" she asked.

"Tseng said he'd fix this. He hasn't. You nearly died. I'm going to make sure this never fucking happens again."

She nodded. She knew what he was going to say next, what she had demanded of him before. Still, he said it for her benefit, just for her to hear the words.

"We're going back to Midgar. And then I'm going to fucking kill President Shinra."

 

_11:06 pm_

 

They had to do it fast. News of the assassins' failure would eventually reach Heidegger, and in turn, President Shinra, probably by the morning. So, they'd have to kill him that very evening just to be sure he wasn't forewarned.

But to get there in time, they'd need a plane.

Reno didn't know how they'd get one, but Raina waved off his concerns with a casual, "Don't worry, I know a guy."

It turned out, Raina's 'guy' was drunk. And someone Reno knew.

"The hell you need a godamn plane for?" Captain Cid Highwind bellowed from where he sat on the tarmac of the airfield.

"We need to get home to Midgar," Raina explained. "So, we need you to take us there on your airship."

Cid took a hit off a bottle, and offered it to Raina. She scrunched up her face in that adorable 'icky gross' expression only kids can properly make. The pilot shrugged, then offered it to Reno, who happily obliged and took a swig before handing it back. It burned comfortably down his throat.

"Aren't you s'pposed to be dead anyway?" Cid asked. "I'm drunker'n a Shinra suit on holiday, but I remember bein' choked up about hearing 'bout you passin'. The fuck's going on there?"

"Long story," Reno said. "Her father tried to have her killed, I saved her, Rufus arranged to put her in hiding, it was a whole thing. I'll write a book about it someday. It'll have guns and tits and violence, and it will be awesome. But for now, we need to get to Shinra Tower so I can shoot the President in the face."

Cid, who'd been in the middle of taking another drink off his bottle, spat it out, then looked between Raina and Reno. He shook his head incredulously.

"Y'all're fuckin' serious. Shit. Well, I'd love to help. Really, I would. But those fuckin' suits took the Highwind away from me. It's not even crewed right now. They're plannin' on sendin' me back to Rocket Town, where I can live out my days starin' at a rocket that'll never make it to the stars. First they took space from me, now the sky. Fuck 'em."

Well, that put a damper on their plans.

"What about the Tiny Bronco?" Raina asked.

"It's already over in Rocket Town. Only thing on this tarmac that's ready to fly is…" Cid trailed off, and then his face lit up. "… the Gelnika."

And thus, a wanted Turk, the hidden daughter of a corporate empire, and a drunk off his ass pilot stole a second-rate airship from Shinra so they could fly to Midgar to kill its President.

 

_11:34 pm_

 

The entire way to Midgar, Cid complained about the Gelnika. Sure, it was fast, he said. But the Highwind was faster. And it didn't have the same finesse. It didn't have the beauty. It didn't bank correctly, and all it was good for was a giant cargo bay in the back that gave it an 'ass fatter than any plane had a right to have and still stay in the sky.'

Quite simply, the Gelnika was shit, and the engineer who'd designed it, who was not Cid, was a terrible human being for ever making the thing.

Reno basically stopped paying attention halfway through the drunk pilot's tirade as he flew the lumbering vessel until they got to Midgar, and Cid managed to smash one of the wings into a Mako Reactor.

"Are you insane?" he yelled, not unaware of the irony in asking that question.

"Eh, don't worry, I did it on purpose. It's not enough damage to put us in the ground, but it'll take those Shinra assholes a few days to fix it before any of their shit pilots'll fly this junk heap."

Reno rounded on Raina. "You trust this asshole?"

"He's my Uncle Cid," she said, as if that explained everything.

Cid turned his head and gave them both a large grin, flashing teeth.

"Pay the fuck attention to the sky!" Reno screamed. "Don't look at us!"

Cid snorted. "We're the only people flyin' up here. Not like there are any other…. Oh, shit, whoops. Hold onto your shorts and don't piss in 'em!"

The plane banked suddenly, and Reno made sure to grab a railing with one hand, and Raina with the other. They both stumbled, but didn't fall.

"The hell was that?" Reno asked.

"Oh, just Rufus flyin' by in a helicopter. He'll probably have words with me now that he's seen me steal his Gelnika. Better return it, or he'll think of some asshole way to get back at me, the little shit."

Raina let out a giggle at that, and Reno rolled his eyes. Cid was probably where she was picking up all the swearing. It had to be. As a matter of fact, he vaguely remembered something about her saying that before. That explained  _everything_.

He was going to say something to Cid about his language, but caught something out the window as they approached Shinra Tower. A motorcycle burst through a third-story window, glass raining in every which direction, and landed on the highway, and began to drive furiously away. A moment later, a blue truck followed. He couldn't make out any figures, but he knew. Somehow, he knew. That was Avalanche, making their escape despite Tseng's plan to take them down. He hoped Tseng was okay, but at the same time, he cheered on the rebel terrorists. They'd draw forces away from the Tower.

Reno asked, "Can you land this thing down on the highway or something? I'll go in the front doors, use the elevator, and go kill me a President."

Cid snorted. "Fuck that. If you're goin' to go kill the President, I'm not landing this thing anywhere near the Tower. Bad enough Rufus saw us flyin' in. There's a parachute in the locker. You can bail out, land on the helipad, and then you're basically right there."

Turning to face Raina, he raised an eyebrow at her. She smiled back.

"Do you have two parachutes?" he asked.

 

_1_ _1:47 pm_

 

The two landed on the helipad without too much of a hitch, and Cid did a few circles around the Tower before leaving entirely. He wouldn't have minded the drunken pilot's help in what they were about to do, but he respected the man's decision not to be involved. Yesterday, Reno himself would never have wanted anywhere near an operation like this. Kill the most powerful man on the Planet? Sure, he was a despicable shitbag who committed atrocities before breakfast every morning, but when you got right down to it, so was Reno.

"So, do we have a plan?" Raina asked.

"Sure. We go in, see if he's at his desk, hope he's not doing any auto-erotic asphyxiation like he does sometimes late at night. If he is, I zap him with my 'mag-rod, then you shoot him while he's flopping around. It'll be funny."

The girl gulped, and nodded. And then he remembered. She might want to kill the fuck, but she was still ten years old, and he was still her father, murderous cretin or not.

"You sure you want to do this?" he asked. "Big step. I've shown you the grown up stuff before. Taken you to a whore house, given you a smoke, a drink… you've seen me do stuff no one should ever see. You sure you want to kill him?"

The scared look disappeared from her face. She gritted her teeth, and held up the little .22 she had. He opened the door leading into the President's office.

And found the old man pinned to his desk by a gigantic sword, blood everywhere. And not just any sword. Masamune. Reno had seen that thing in countless videos. Fucking  _Sephiroth_  had apparently decided to come back from the dead to kill President Shinra, and steal his…

"Kill of the Month," Reno groaned, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

"That's it?" Raina said, incredulous. "All that build up, and this is it? Someone else killed my daddy first?"

"It would appear so."

Both Raina and Reno turned to the source of the new voice. Tseng stood amidst the puddles of blood and streaks of gore spread across the room, completely immaculate, Rude, holding a small black box, flanking him on the other side. Elena was nowhere in sight, which in itself was kind of a blessing.

But something bothered Reno.

"You knew," Reno said. "You knew this was going to happen. That's what you meant, that you'd fix this."

Tseng's expression remained neutral, but Reno's brain was on fire. He could see it all, now. There was no way Sephiroth had made a reappearance, not without  _somebody_  seeing it. Shinra had been on high alert searching for the man for five years. There was no way he could've possibly taken a single step into Midgar without some intelligence assets seeing it. Tseng loved his job. He always said that. He was good at it. He was insanely good at it. Tseng knew how to manipulate people, how to play the game, how to compartmentalize information. If he'd intercepted this intelligence, eliminated the source, it would be a weapon. One aimed and pointed directly at the head of Shinra itself.

"I assure you," Tseng said, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Turks always work in the best interest of the company."

"No," Reno said, confused. "You… did you do this? I'm…"

The words came out of his mouth before the reality of the situation hit him. The Hyper was wearing off. His body was finally giving out on him.

"I've decided for a new award for the Turks," Tseng said, ignoring Reno's comments. "With everything that's been going on today, I don't think we'll ever fully decide who earned the Kill of the Month award, or even if it will be a Turk. But I've had something prepared."

Rude gestured to Raina, and handed her the small black box he was holding. The girl opened it, smiled, and carried it over to Reno. He gingerly took it from her, and it was a photograph with a plaque. It was a picture of Raina, and beneath it, it read, "Life of the Month."

After everything, after the whole shitty day, the Sector Plate, the flight for his life, the countless injuries and emotional turmoil and almost screwing up the one good thing he'd ever done… Reno broke down and cried for the last time.

He handed it back to Raina before he could drop it. He could feel the sleep coming on, any minute now.

Tseng continued, "I'll call and have Elena put Raina in a new safe house, and then probably start dropping rumours to that Wutaian assassin you're in some other forest after a few days pass. I figure that will amuse you. And then, after this whole new situation is over… well, we'll see what happens from there, won't we?"

Reno was about to make an agreement, but in the form of some kind of snarky comment. He opened his mouth, thought better of it, and passed out instead.

 

_11:56 pm - Rude_

 

After Reno fell unconscious, Tseng called a medevac team to see to him, and called Elena and instructed her to put Raina in the Midgar safe house. Rude didn't know if Tseng had any further plans for the girl, and it didn't particularly bother him either way. He felt nothing for her, nor cared about Shinra family politics.

What he did care about, however, was his own family.

So, once Reno had been taken to the med bay, and Raina had been taken to somewhere that Tseng claimed was safe, Rude watched his Commander. Tseng had his hands clasped behind his back, and was looking over the corpse of the President of Shinra.

"Reno was wrong, you know," the Turk Commander said. "Sephiroth's return shocked me as much as anyone. When I told Reno I would fix the problem… I honestly meant just that. That I would make sure that President Shinra would not hunt either him or Raina. I did not expect… this."

Rude grunted. He thought about leaving it at that, but he'd seen some of what Reno had gone through. The evidence on his body, and some of the reports that had been coming in from Kalm and Junon painted quite the story. And there were the holes in Raina's dress, and the bloodstains across the front of it. Rude normally left everything alone, but this one bugged him.

"Bullshit," Rude said.

Tseng turned to face him, an eyebrow raised, but he didn't refute the claim.

"You handed a list of assassins and Reno's personnel file to Heidegger, and didn't know what it would be used for? You just happened to know how to contact and neutralize one of them instantly, and knew where another one would be so I'd kill him? More, Reno was obviously getting them to follow him from the PHS he'd stolen. It's what I would have done. I was tracking it myself. But it went dead before he got to the safe house. But from reports I've heard, Candi still managed to find him. How did she track him to a top secret, off the books safe house?"

"Well, you seem to have some idea. Why would I do such a thing?"

Rude shook his head. He didn't know. He couldn't figure out the why, even if he certainly knew who and how. But he locked eyes with his Commander, and refused to back down.

Tseng took in a deep breath, then nodded in defeat. "Reno dropped a Sector Plate. He killed an astounding amount of people. Elena wouldn't have been able to do it. I don't think I could have. You would be able to, but I know you, Rude. It would have eaten you up. You'll kill a hundred thousand men and women, but so long as it was in open combat. But if you casually murdered them, dropped that Plate down on them? No, there would've been no honour there. If I'd sent you to do it, I would've had to accept that I'd killed you in addition to whoever that Plate killed. I expected Reno to fair better. He's borderline psychotic. But I'd forgotten how unpredictable he is.

"I didn't expect to see him emotionally damaged. His tears in the hospital had me worried for his psychological state. If I'd left him that way, there was an even chance of him killing himself, or finally taking an automatic rifle into some McChocobo's somewhere and permanently emptying it. So, I gave him a quest. I put out a bounty for Reno and Raina myself. Rufus' attempts to hide her were laughable, and while I'd hidden the fact from the President, I'd always kept that information in reserve. I had Shinra fly in everyone that we needed, or made sure they were already close by, and offered all of them a bounty and a pardon. Bringing in Candi was my only mistake. I didn't foresee how destructive she'd be, I only saw her as a symbol for Reno to fight."

"So this entire thing was… what? To make sure Reno stayed Reno?"

Tseng sighed, turning away and looking back at the President's corpse. "And it worked. I think. I'm going to have to monitor him for a few weeks, and you'll need to keep an eye on him in the field, just to be safe. In a way, it's a good thing Sephiroth arrived when he did. I did not expect Reno to try to kill the President."

Rude nodded. It all made a twisted kind of sense. But he wondered if maybe Reno hadn't been the only one damaged by the dropping of the Sector Plate. Tseng could be cold… but nothing like this. Rude knew he had to do his own part. Just as Tseng put together an elaborate scheme to make sure Reno was mentally adjusted, Rude put his own together right then and there on the spot.

He tapped Tseng on the shoulder, waited for the man to turn to face him, and then punched him as hard as he could in the jaw.

Rude never had been good at elaborate schemes.

Tseng staggered back, clutching his chin. He shook his head and said, "Why?"

"You're not god. You didn't choose for that Plate to fall." He jerked his thumb at the dead body that was slumped on the table. "That fat fuck did. And karma caught up to him. It's no more your fault than it was Reno's. Get over it."

Rude felt he probably should add something to that, or put in some eloquence, but he wasn't good enough with words. They just escaped him. Still, he left the room, but turned and said to Tseng on his way out, "Better hope what you did works. Because if Reno breaks in spite of all this, Sephiroth will be the least of your concerns."

"I forget that sometimes you care, Rude."

"The Turks are my family. You and Reno are my brothers. How could I not care?"

And then he left, leaving Tseng to his thoughts.

 

_11:59 pm_

 

Reno stood atop a pillar in his dreams, and the shadows were coming to get him. He knew if they pulled him off, he would die. They would get him, and tear him apart, and make him live each and every single one of their deaths.

"Murderer!" one called.

"Killer!"

"Shinra!"

He drew his pistol and fired into the crowd of shadow people, just as he had the last time he'd had this dream, but there were too many of them, and not enough bullets in his gun, and they couldn't be killed besides.

One tugged on his pant leg, and he jerked away. He felt himself stumble, ready to fall into the crowd of the dead, where they would have their justice.

"Killer!"

"My children!"

"I was gonna get out and escape!"

The cries were always the same. Hopeless. Despairing. And it was his entire fault.

He was about to say something suitably dramatic as a justification for his actions, to explain it. He was just following orders. But he could feel their anguish with every breath he took. He was about to break down and beg forgiveness. But then he remembered. He remembered Raina's smiling face, and that while he'd killed four thousand people today… he'd also saved one.

"Oh, boo hoo!" he screamed at the shades.

A hush went over the crowd surrounding his pillar. They stopped, looking up at him. One, which had grasped his boot, gave a half-hearted tug, until he kicked it in its stupid, shadowy, nondescript face.

"I pushed a fucking button! A chimp could've done it! Fuck, if Shinra had offered you half of what they pay me, I bet most of you would've gotten in a fucking  _line_  to push the fucking button on your neighbours!"

"Your brother!" one hissed.

He stared down hard at the shadow that dared speak to him about his brother, who he had not seen in more than ten years. A brother he hadn't spoken to in just as long. A brother who was a worthless sack of shit and was likely doomed to a pathetic life below the Plate for his entire existence because he'd rather shoot up Hyper all day long than do anything for himself.

"You know what I think about your stupid judgement?" Reno said.

And then he unbuckled his belt, unzipped his fly, and pissed on the ghost who had dared bring up his brother.

It was a dream. These shadows were just manifestations of his supposed guilt. He knew that. Still, it felt good to take a leak on the dead.

"Taste it!" he screamed. "Taste it! That's day old coffee and broken dreams you're drinking in! Anyone else want some?"

None of the ghosts volunteered. He let them have it anyway, trying to spread his arc as far and wide as he could manage.

"I saved a fucking life today. The fuck did you do today but cry? The fuck did you do in your entire lives?"

The shades looked away from him in their shame.

"Are we done?" When none of the shadows dared to answer, he pointed to one nearby, singling it out. "Are we done?"

It didn't respond, instead shying away. So he peed on it a little more.

"Yes!" it hissed.

"Good," he said. "Now fuck off and bring me some busty Wutaian girl dreams on your way out the door."

The shades began to vanish, one by one, and Reno slept the sleep of the righteous, despite knowing that he was a total shitbag asshole. But he was okay with that. Because while he was a total shitbag asshole, he was also a hero. He had a plaque and everything that said so.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes:
> 
> Holy shit, folks. That was WAY longer than I had originally intended, and went places I did not expect. I want to thank everyone who took the time to read this in its entirety.
> 
> As a side note, I can be found on Tumblr/Twitter as Tyramir. While I hope you enjoyed this chapter of the story and take the time to review it, this is not a permanent posting. It will eventually get taken down, and I will updated by profile ahead of time as well as post to my Tumblr when that will be happening. Pieces of this story will be cannibalized and put into a book. Things will change. Plot arcs and characters will be different. (The book in question is now being posted online and can be found on my A03 account here! It will be taken down as of May 31st, though, and from there will be available for purchase online)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story. I had a lot of fun writing it. Now I'm going to bed.


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